


Kisses on Gardenia Petals

by pandaspots



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comedy, F/F, Gen, Slice of Life, akechi is a disaster lesbian pretending to be distinguished, akira is a disaster bi, everyone in the phantom thieves are girls bc we lack lesbian content, in which everything is lesbians and nothing hurts, pls accept this offering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2019-07-18 11:41:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 34,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16117676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandaspots/pseuds/pandaspots
Summary: “Honestly, I could find out tomorrow you leave your panties on the shower knob and that wouldn’t alter in the slightest my will to have you as a roommate,” Kazuko declared solemnly.Kazuko Akechi needed a new roommate, fast. She did not expect her roommate to this hot though.(a slice of life comedy about two disaster girls)





	1. bi-lesbian solidarity is walking around in packs

**Author's Note:**

> the prompt summary of this is "like,,,,, college AU, "oh they were roommates" meets "i don't mind her kissing girls if it's me she's kissing" meets "roomie keeps walking around in her lingerie is this flirting"", so.
> 
> (the rating is for the end of the chapter. it spicy, so if you don't want to read spiciness, you can skip it by looking up ~*~ in the text.)

Kazuko was honestly very tired. It was the sixth girl who answered her wanted ad only to back out when they saw the lesbian pride flag she hung in her bedroom. It wasn’t even a big one. _It wasn’t even that gaudy_ , it was literally the pastel rainbow one.

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I can be roommates with someone who gets horny looking at me,” this last one (Agnetta, she thought the girl was named?) said, and Kazuko could literally feel her GPA dropping.

“Don’t worry dear, I don’t think you’d have that problem even with a male roommate,” she smiled, saying that with the utmost pleasantness she could even muster after the entire day dealing with straight girls.

After the girl left, huffing and puffing and mad as all hell, Kazuko threw herself onto the couch, wincing from hitting the hard frame underneath, and sighed, pulling up her phone. She threw a leg over the back of it; she really should be more careful if she was going to work retail; couldn’t simply keep hitting it on things. As she clicked her phone on, she saw three missed calls, two from her mother, one from an unknown number. Sighing, she tapped onto the number, figuring it was probably another would-be roomie.

She was considering calling, the finger hovering on the call button. _Am I mentally prepared to put up with yet another girl who thinks she’s hot shit?_

Thankfully at that time her messenger pinged, with an urgent message from her essay partner to call _her_ instead, a welcome break from socializing with strangers that Kazuko took with open arms and hung onto with tooth and nail.

“Makoto, I really hope this isn't an invitation to go over to yours, I'm bone tired from vetting roommates.” She whined.

“Kazu, please. I'd really rather interact as little as possible with you face to face.” Kazuko didn't know if she scoffed or laughed. Makoto was really picking up on her girlfriend's speech patterns, if she was using nicknames. “No, I'm calling because one of my friends from the Asian Society needs a room and I gave her your number and address, but she messaged me and said you weren’t picking up.”

“Ah, it must be the unknown number. I was telling off a girl who thought my panties were super wet just by looking at her.”

“Let me guess, she was wearing a gym crop top shirt saying ‘do you even lift’, leggins with transparent panels from upper thigh going across the leg down to her shin and creepers?” Makoto guessed.

“With the Ariana Grande ponytail and smokey eyes done in orangey brown, yes.” Kazuko sighed. “It was probably for the better, I don’t think I could handle that for too long. She said upfront she didn’t own a mirror, and fighting for the bathroom everyday is just… terrible.” She shifted on the couch, her right leg falling off the couch in the epitome of done. “Can you imagine when classes start? I’d die.”

“Die? You’re too terrible to die, Kazuko. Anyhow, call my friend, I messaged you the number. I promise you she’s gonna be a delight. She used to be my roommate but I moved in with Haru. She owns a vanity dresser, by the way.”

“I think I will. See you Wednesday for that summer project thing?” Kazuko kicked her slippers off, vaguely aware in the back of her head she would have to pick them up from wherever they fell to go fetch some edible thing from the kitchen, pulling up her shirt out of her skirt for comfortableness.

“Yes. The sooner we get that entire mock defense out of the way, the more time we have to poke holes at it later. See you.” And Makoto hang up, unceremoniously as always. Kazuko rolled her eyes, dropping her phone on her chest and covering her eyes, sighing again.

“The fuck do I even have besides rice,” she muttered, trying to think of something for dinner. Anything to cheer her dead mood up; this roommate search was proving to be the single most stressful thing she had to do since moving countries to be away from her shitty father at age 18, and she barely even spoke english then.

She pulled up her shirt to fix her boob inside her bra when she heard a knock on the door, and realized she forgot it open, and that in this small apartment, you could see the couch from the front door easily.

“That’s a Victoria’s Secret or Agent Provocateur? Kinda feel like I have the same set.” A smooth voice rang from the corridor, and Kazuko fell from the couch in her struggle to make herself presentable again, her face going beet red and her heart beating in her throat.

“La Perla, actually.” She straightened her shirt as best as she could, pulling down her skirt until it was down, not up, her legs. “You’re Makoto’s friend, right?”

“Akira. Kazuko, right? Heard you’re looking for a roommate to share the rent, and I have been permanently sexiled.” She joked, and Kazuko shifted in place. She could hear that chuckling in her chest, and made a mental note to accept Hifumi’s invitation to church; the sooner she exorcized that feeling the better.

“So I’ve heard. Well, want to see the apartment?” She asked, smiling as non-fakely as possible. When Akira nodded, she motioned to the kitchen, “I already have a fridge, a crock pot and a rice cooker, plus my mom is sending me a stove this week? If you have an oven or a microwave, though, it’d be perfect.” She pointed, trying not to notice that Akira was eyeing her instead of the appliances.

“I kept the microwave in my divorce from Makoto, I can totally bring it,” Akira said neutrally, then, “so, you normally wait for people looking like you’re about to rub one out?”

Kazuko lost all will to live right then and there, laying face first onto the granite counter of the sink. It was obviously a joke at the expense of her first impression, seeing as Akira was laughing, but she was mortified. Her bracelets and thin gold choker felt like they were constricting, abiding to her wish for death.

“I hit my knee on shift today, and when I threw myself on the couch my boob moved,” Kazuko defended herself, which only made Akira laugh harder.

“I’m just teasing. Though it’s nice to know that someone who dresses like someone’s librarian aunt isn’t all that boring.” The other girl was smirking, and Kazuko tried not to focus on the way those black curls framed the other girl’s face. In fact, she was trying not to pay attention to anything the other girl was or was wearing, because Akira was, objectively, gorgeous. “Hey, it’s a 2LK, right?” She asked, more seriously, and Kazuko was grateful from the respite.

“Yes, you’d have your own bedroom, but it’s only one bathroom, so we’d have to work a schedule of sorts for baths?” She removed herself from the counter, shaking her hair into place. _Composure, woman, she’s just a pretty girl, don’t be an useless lesbian now!_

“There’s a bathtub?” Akira seemed to genuinely light up at this, looking like a kid in a candy store, if a kid was even allowed to wear a red and black plaid shirt tucked into her shorts only at the front with only the bottom three buttons closed, exposing a lacy bandeau bra under it, and fake leather booty shorts that highlighted that she had legs for days… _get a grip, Kazuko!_

Her curly hair should be illegal to look this good, though.

“Yes, it was actually the first thing I checked.” Kazuko pulled on a bracelet, pleased with herself. “Even bought one of those wine holder trays to soak in without needing to move too much to grab things, I was so happy.”

“I was thinking more on the lines of making easier to bathe my cat than a shower, but yes, that too,” Akira smiled, bordering on that lecherous smirk from earlier, and Kazuko blushed hard. “It’s cute, though; hearing Makoto talk, you didn’t have a heart, much less cute habits.”

“You mentioned a cat?” She changed subjects quickly, not wanting to know what Makoto’s word picture was. Though her mother seemed to think Makoto was the devil incarnate instead of a hyperbolic frenemy.

“It’s not gonna be a problem, right? Morgana is well behaved and potty trained.” Akira was on the defensive, and to be honest, this cat could be a monster and Kazuko would fight the landlord for it.

“We’ll just have to inform the landlord and pay the pet fee the building has, but I’m fine having a pet,” she said, and predictably, there it was back, that winning smile of a woman who was getting the hang of twisting every drop of niceness out of Kazuko. “I’ve always wanted a cat, they’re cute.”

Akira bounced on the heels of her feet and Kazuko noticed she had taken her shoes off at the entrance. She discreetly looked at the door and sure enough, a pair of combat boots sat there, taken off like it was normal. This woman was fucking _perfect_.

“So my room would be down the hall?” She asked, and Kazuko tried her best not to startle.

“No, it’s the one across from the bathroom, actually. That plaque was from my last roommate; she never came back for it, I don’t know why, and I guess I just forgot to take it down?” Kazuko explained, one hand absentmindedly pulling at her skirt.

“Well, then, lead the way, missus. I wanna see what space I got to work with.”

As they made their way down to the circulation area between rooms and bathroom, Akira just took off into Kazuko’s room, and when she caught up with the other, she saw, startled that the girl was holding up her lesbian pride flag.

Logically, Kazuko knew that this girl had shared an apartment with another lesbian before, but her brain, primed to pattern-picking from college, immediately thought that this was it, she wasn’t going to get a new roommate today.

“Hey, nice! Not gonna lie, I was kinda worried that you wouldn’t wanna share an apartment with a bi girl, but I guess this answers it!”

Wait, what?

“Oh, thank _god_ ,” she managed, a tension she didn't know was there leaving her body. “I won’t need to pretend to be straight at home.”

“Yeah! Like, what’s _up_ with that? The other girls I talked to this week all freaked the fuck out!” Akira was cute when she got excited about something, and if she was an anime character, there would be jiggle physics abound whenever she did that huffing thing.

She had to keep sane somehow, even if it was thinking of anime jiggle physics.

“Don’t try me; the girl that came looking before you saw my flag and went ‘I don’t think I can live with a girl that wants to fuck me’, like. Janet, I don’t want to fuck you.” Kazuko spat out and Akira just burst out laughing.

“Oh my god, I think I’ll love living with you!” She exclaimed and Kazuko’s heart did a little loop. “Do you have any weird habits, anyway? I know I always forget to turn on the rice cooker, Haru had to give me a fancy one with a sensor that starts cooking when you put in the rice and water and close it.”

“Oh thank god I’m not the only one.” Kazuko sat on her bed, and Akira took it as an invitation to sit on Kazuko’s study chair. “I guess I’m a little too tidy? I’m attached to the idea of a pinterest home, you could say. Though as long as you’re not letting litter and clothes around…”

“Oh, by the way, I loved your genkan?!” Akira pointed out, “it’s so hard to find a single nipo-american that has it still, it was so weird living with Makoto, I kept vacuuming everyday because she wouldn’t take off her shoes!”

Kazuko made a note to text that to Makoto, as a way to gloat. _Not only am I stealing your friend, apparently I’m already better than you._ It was petty, but then again, so was their rivalry.

“I’m actually just japanese, I came here with my mother for my last year of high school and I guess I just stayed?” She told the other girl and her smile just widened at that.

“ _My parents are japanese too!_ ” Akira told her gleefully, and it took Kazuko a while to catch on she just spoke japanese.

“Honestly, I could find out tomorrow you leave your panties on the shower knob and that wouldn’t alter in the slightest my will to have you as a roommate,” Kazuko declared solemnly. “All I wanted was a roommate who took off her shoes at the door, didn’t complain about the absurd amount of rice in the pantry and wasn’t afraid of lesbians.”

“I just wanted a roommate at this point, to be honest.” Akira picked up the Jack Frost plushie from her desk. “I’ve been looking for a whole month now, the lease is up next week and having standards was just detrimental to having a roof over my cat’s head at this point.” She put it back exactly where it was.

“That’s actually tragic. So, we’d be sharing the rent fifty-fifty, but like, do you want to share groceries or do like, half the fridge for you half for me?” Kazuko asked, tugging at her bracelets.

“Look, let’s be real, our grocery lists probably look really alike,” Akira said, swiveling in the chair like a child. “How did you even manage a two bedroom this close to the bridge downtown _and_ the beach?”

“Someone killed themselves here.” Akira stopped her swiveling to look at her, a dumbstruck look on her face. “I’m serious. Some guy killed himself here. My mom knows the landlord; he’s this old, crotchety japanese grandpa, he’s been renting under market value for years because of it.”

“A real life ghost apartment, I’ve only heard stories. Dad will flip if he finds out.” Akira smiled. “Two Criminal Science students, living in an apartment where someone died, that’s fitting as fuck, I like it. When can I move in?”

Kazuko was completely wrapped around this _perfect woman’s_ finger.

“I can give you the keys by tomorrow, I’ll talk with the landlord in the morning about the cat and you moving in. Anything you’re bringing in?” Kazuko would be lying if she said she wasn’t both over the moon and terrified of this arrangement.

“I have a TV, a Switch, a PS4, my bedroom and doilies for days. Besides the rice cooker and the microwave, and normal room stuff. Ah, I also have a bookshelf and Monamona’s cat condo.” Akira’s eyes were analyzing, taking in Kazuko’s bedroom, and she suddenly felt self-conscious about her decoration choices.

“Ah, we should probably go to your room, you mentioned that,right?” Kazuko remembered suddenly, standing up and heading for the corridor.

“Hey, is it okay to paint the walls? A friend offered to do so a while ago and can't really say no to Yuriko.” Akira followed, and Kazuko felt her eyes trained on her neck.

“Ah, yes, it's within the lease bounds,” she replied, opening the door to the mostly empty room. “This is your room. It's a bit bigger than mine, but I am not a morning person and there's direct sunlight all morning here and in the living room. I've been using here to air dry underwear, as you can see,” she pointed at the little foldable clothesline that had indeed a large assembly of bras, panties and stockings drying on it.

“God, same. I used to do the same with Mako-chan’s room,” the girl laughed, and Kazuko was horrified. “Walked in on her and Haru once, like, excuse me, lemme get my underthings real quick so you can go back to fingerbanging each other.”

“I'm starting to see a pattern here,” she turned around, smiling, “do you possess absolutely no shame at all?”

Akira smirked.

“I plead the greek,” and she added quickly when Kazuko didn't start laughing, “you know, like the greeks equalled a pretty person with virtue and thus if you were hot you could do no wrong.” She was embarrassed now, but Kazuko doubted she would ever repeat that feat again, so she committed it to memory.

“Oh my god, so _you_ are the dork ass new pre-law kid who cited the greek prostitute case to defend herself in Johnson’s mock trial,” she realized gleefully,

“Uhhhh…” Kazuko was _wrong_ , she could repeat it, and the blush that spread on Akira’s face was just delicious. “Look, it was a mock trial, right. And the teacher said we could use any law and any precedent in our cases.”

“No, I get it, no one actually prepares to fight against four thousand year old laws. It was smart,” Kazuko said, and Akira seemed to preen a little under the compliment.

“Thank you, my dad thinks so too,” she was smiling now, right up until her phone blasted up bass boosted gummy bär. “Ugh, I need to get this one back soon, so. I assume this was a success?”

“Yeah, I'm counting as one too. Send me your discord later, and pics of what you have so we can mix and match?” Kazuko stepped out to the side to allow a little space for Akira to move towards the front door.

“Sure. Didn't know you used discord, though, you look like a skype kinda person,” Akira teased, pulling up her boots.

“Who even uses skype, it lags more than MapleStory on a rainy day,” she scoffed.

“My god, that is so true. See you tomorrow, then? I can send you the pics today.” Akira laced the boots up, and Kazuko appreciated the way her body bent, praying it didn't show her thirst on her face.

“That would be lovely. I'll be waiting for your pictures, then.”

As she waved Akira goodbye, Kazuko prayed to any god that would listen that she didn't have a wet dream that night. When she woke up the next morning bleary-eyed with the dreamscape of black curls and red lips, and the phantom feeling of teeth and tongue on her body, she knew the gods were dead.

 

* * *

 

 **Kiki  
** makoto u warn a girl 1st  
u should like  
o btw kazu is HOT

 **Makoto  
** Ha. She is not. Your parents will never approve of her like they approved of you entering a triad with me and Haru, anyway, so there.  
Kazuko is the devil but she is as neurotic as you with the shoes thing, I'll give her that.

 **Kiki  
** makoto she is hot n u r blind  
my dads only like u 2 bc flowers n bikes u cheat  
but like. not to be horny on main, but my 1st impression was a panty shot n i mightve oversold myself

 **Makoto  
** A what now

 **Kiki  
** she 4got the door was open n threw herself on the couch to rest a leg. #relatable

 **Makoto  
** Akira I owe you my life, I'm gonna so make her life hell with this knowledge.

 **Kiki**  
DONT

 

* * *

 

Kazuko thought herself a good person. A reasonable one. She even considered herself a patient woman.

She didn't expect making her home a home for two would be this rage inducing.

“See, I know what you mean, Kazu-chan, but the entire house can’t ‘reflect the two inhabitants’ like you said if you’re not willing to have a mahogany bookshelf in the living room,” Akira huffed. “It’s apparently an antique, too, Haru gifted that to Makoto, but Makoto doesn’t need this antique mahogany anymore, she’s too fancy now.”

Akira put the last of her boxes down on the couch, next to a pet carrier that was starting to hiss up a storm.

“Yeah, but you can’t just put it on a dark corner. It’s going to make the living room gloomy!” Kazuko complained, trying to push it bodily to the other side of the room, into a patch of light.

“Kazu, please, I’m begging you, stop trying to drag the bookshelf!” Akira pulled her by the shoulders, and Kazuko’s anger went to the backburner immediately, letting herself be turned away from the furnishment. “I called Yuriko, she’s coming with Ryuko to help move the damn shelf, so please. Don’t kill yourself.”

A knock on the door distracted her from her very lesbian problems.

“I’ll get it,” she told Akira, who nodded, sorting out boxes again and feeding Morgana through the bars of his carrier.

She opened the door, fully expecting the oddest couple on the face of the earth that was Ryuko and Yuriko, not the two japanese men nearing their fifties with several plant pots and a tupperware of snacks that had knocked.

“Uh. Hello?” She said awkwardly, caught off-guard.

“Is this Kiki’s new apartment?” The black haired one asked, with a pleasant smile on his face that wouldn’t be out of place in a courthouse.

“Kiki?” Kazuko repeated dumbly, not knowing who they were referring to.

“Dad?! Tacchi?! You made it!” Akira practically screamed, bolting from across the apartment to tackle the men (apparently her dad and someone else) into a hug.

“Of course we made it.” The pleasant man said, balancing the two pots of greenery. “Brought some of your favorites from the garden, too. We have a catnip planter for Morgana in the car.”

“Bought you a new toolbox,” the brunet added.

“So, Kazu, these are my parents, Jun,” she pointed at the black haired man, “and Tatsuya. Dad, Tacchi, this is Kazuko.” The brunet man holding a toolbox waved a little. He seemed quieter than his partner and his daughter, and Kazuko could appreciate that.

“Nice to meet you, Kazu-chan,” Jun said, handing over the tiniest cherry tree she has ever seen. “This one’s going to bloom soon, so make sure to water it this week.” And off he went to talk to Akira about… the mistletoe plants?

“Nice to meet you,” Tatsuya said, picking up the bonsai from her hands and putting a white toolbox in its place. “I have a feeling you’ve never owned a plant before,” he explained, looking around conspicuously.

“Ah. Thank you. Please come in, Tatsuya-san,” She stepped to the side, allowing the man to enter the home entirely, balancing the snacks tupperware and the succulents they brought on the hand that wasn’t holding the bonsai tree.

“So, Kazuko,” Jun called from the living room while Kazuko followed Tatsuya into the kitchen, “what are your opinions on green carnations?”

“Is that an Oscar Wilde reference?” She replied, dumbly, wondering where did it come from, then wondering what was wrong with this family as Tatsuya chuckled softly and Akira made dying noises.

“Yes, Kazuko, it is,” Jun said, and she could hear a smile in his voice even if she couldn’t see the smile. “Have you ever thought about having a gardenia plant? Your living room window looks perfect to install two planters.” He said, and Kazuko peeked around the corner of the kitchen wall to visualize.

“Huh. I guess I could see it, but I’m not very good with plants. I’m not really confident about keeping all these plants alive, though I appreciate the vote of confidence.” She turned back to the kitchen to help Tatsuya find plates to put on the friend dango they brought.

“Oh, don’t worry, Kiki is more than capable of taking care of them,” and there it was again that joking lilt that she couldn’t even begin to understand, and Akira making more dying noises.

“Jun, can you help me bring over the catnip for Mona?” Tatsuya called him, heading for the door, “we’ll be right back.” He said, already halfway out the door.

Jun followed, and Kazuko could hear a hushed conversation about… cooling it with the teasing? But they were talking about plants, weren’t they? She made a quick mental note to look up those plants later to see if she was missing something.

“So, when are Ryuko and Yuriko supposed to arrive?” She turned to Akira, picking up one of the boxes labeled bedroom to move to the room.

“In a while, I guess,” she sighed, undoing her messed up ponytail to redo it, completely wrecking Kazuko’s determination to not look at her now-roommate like _that_ again. “Yuriko mentioned bringing over paints and a sketchbook, so I guess it’ll be awhile.” She paused, grabbing some of her bedframes before continuing, “My parents didn’t make you uncomfortable, right?”

“Why would they?” Kazuko asked, puzzled. “I mean, that bit with the plants was weird, and I guess I only know half the joke there, but they seem nice.”

“They’re cool, I guess,” Akira tried to laugh it off. It was cute. “They wanted me to get with Makoto, then with Haru, then they overheard Haru joking about a threesome and told me to get with them both.” Kazuko saw no reason to be informed about this, and her mood soured a little. “I mean, Haru and dad like plants, Tacchi and Makoto like bikes, but as cool as they are, dating someone who’s just so much like your parents is… weird, I guess?”

Kazuko still had a dumb smile on her face when Jun and Tatsuya came back from downstairs, carrying a window planter and a power tool. The power tool was covered in cartoon stickers and looked exceedingly old.

“Aw, dad, you didn’t need to bring my power tool!” Akira said, but she was looking ridiculously relieved she wouldn’t need to screw her entire bed and desk by hand.

“Uh huh, sure. Kiki, when you moved in with Makoto, she was the one putting your entire bedroom together because you can’t work a screwdriver not attached to a motor.” It was the most Kazuko has heard Tatsuya speak so far, but the look of utter betrayal in Akira’s face was brilliant and radiant and once she started she couldn’t stop laughing.

“I’m inclined to believe that if Akira didn’t have friends, she wouldn’t be able to function at all,” Kazuko said, tentatively, and Jun’s face lit up, in that way only a validated parent can.

“Oh, shut up, Kazu, I saw your brain bluescreening when my dresser arrived and it was in pieces,” Akira muttered, crossing her arms and Kazuko pointedly did _not_ look at her.

“I still sustain you should’ve let me call this guy I know to put it together.”

“ _Holy shit, Yuriko, were these paint cans really necessary, babe?!”_ Came a loud voice from down the hall, and Akira excused herself from the apartment, leaving Kazuko alone with her parents.

 _They’re nice_ , she thought, as Tatsuya slipped a catnip leaf into Morgana’s carrier, and the hissing subdued a little.

“So, Kazuko,” Jun started, “do you actually think you can live harmoniously with my daughter, or did you agree to be roommates because you think she’s pretty?”

Kazuko had heard the stories, of people choking on their own spit, but she thought it would never happen to her. As it turned out, she was not only fully capable of doing so, but she did right in front of Akira’s parents.

“Deep breaths, dear,” Jun said, but he was indeed laughing at her. “We just ask out of worry. Wouldn’t want her out of home again because of something so petty as that.”

“I wasn’t thinking about… that… when I agreed to room with her…” She managed, weakly. _It is a nice bonus_ , she thought but wouldn’t admit out loud, not even under death threats. Not to her parents at least.

“Hey, Kazu, you think we have enough chairs to sit everyone, Ryuko and Yuriko lugged two dozen paint cans up here, and they’re dying,” Akira called still from the corridor, interrupting the grilling, and she took the opportunity gladly.

“I guess, if we can move your things from the couch there should be enough space,” She called out, walking to the couch and grabbing the last bedroom box. As she jostled it in her arms, it started making an odd buzzing sound, so she bolted with it to Akira’s bedroom, placing the box in the bed and poking around for the source of the noise.

She didn’t know what she expected, but she should’ve expected that something vibrating in a box labeled ‘bedroom’ that was full of underwear would be phallic and rubbery, and of internal use.

Kazuko quickly turned it off, hoping she was the only one who noticed it had turned it on, and praying that no one had noticed she was gone for longer than necessary to put a box inside a room.

Emerging from Akira’s bedroom, she saw the living room was in complete disarray. The couch was sideways, the bookshelves were being moved around, and Yuriko was being convinced not to set up shop in the middle of the living room.

“Babe, this is so not the place for it, I don’t think Akira’s roomie’s gonna like havin’ her floor paint-stained,” Ryuko was gently guiding the taller woman’s hand away from the pain cans, which no one had warned her were spray. “Hey, you must be Kazuko! We heard a lot about you-- Hey!” She protested at getting elbowed. “It’s true!”

“We’ve met, Ryuko. You crashed one of Makoto and I’s study one-up-manship sessions,” she said, trying to take her mind off the mess. It was expected that someone moving into an apartment that already had someone living in it would be messy, but between the theory and practice, she thought she’d have more control over it.

“Ah. Right,” the other girl seemed embarrassed. “You look hella different when ya hair’s up, an’ you’re not wearin’ those auntie clothes-- _will you stop--_ ” She turned angrily towards Akira, who had the pained expression of someone who’s dealt far too much with Ryuko’s antics on a daily basis.

“Ryuko, why don’t you go buy some snacks, I don’t think Dad’s rice balls will survive your girlfriend,” Akira said, sweetly, and Kazuko could almost think she wanted to get rid of her friend.

“No, I think I made sufficient snacks, dear,” Jun said and it was obvious he wanted to see the world burn, because Akira seemed ready for death. It served as a nice distraction from the state of the living room.

“Well, if that’s the paint for Akira’s room, it’s the one I just exited,” she told the taller girl she assumed was Yuriko, and Kazuko could cry, Yuriko actually bowed in acknowledgement. “Do you need help?”

“Thank you, but no. Wouldn't want to get your hands stained, these paints take a lifetime to come off,” Yuriko said, a small beatific smile on her face, and Kazuko understood what Akira meant about it being hard to say no to her. She was that intimidating sort of beautiful, the kind that either took hours to pull or made you mad that someone could actually wake up like that. Kazuko found herself smiling back despite herself.

Yuriko grabbed the bags with the spray cans, and went past Kazuko with a composure that was certainly obtained after years of ballet at the very least. Where did Makoto even find her friends, because the Makoto she knew in high school was definitely not a people person, nor inclined to ever talk to girls who looked like the little ballerina in the middle of a music box.

It was, however, astonishingly easy to move her eyes away.

“Is she going to tag my room or give me an actual picture?” Akira asked Ryuko, while they busied themselves moving the heavy mahogany bookshelf to the sunny patch by the dividing wall of the kitchen.

“But more importantly, will she notice the money I put in her bag only when she gets home?” Jun said, swiftly opening the boxes of books and knicknacks.

“And the food,” Tatsuya added, as if this was a routine game they played for years now.

“Nah, ya shouldn’t worry, my ma gets upset if Yuri doesn’t come over for dinner,” Ryuko laughed breathlessly.

“Jun-san, you need any help?” Kazuko offered, snapping out of her mess-induced daze now that the bookshelf was in a more pleasing position.

“Ah, yes, please. Could you put these ratty Featherman plushies in the trash?” The man asked, and Akira jumped over the couch to save her toys.

“Dad, no! These are the symbol of my truce with Tacchi!” She all but screeched, grabbing the toys and vaulting the couch again, putting it on the new bookshelf.

“Yes, Jun, wouldn’t want the jam incident happening again,” Tatsuya looked up from Morgana’s carrier, a deadpan smile on his face, while the cat inside purred up a storm against his fingers.

“Aren’t you a little too old for truce toys, Akira?” Kazuko asked, holding back a big goofy smile.

“Shut it, Kazu, don’t think your Jack Frost collection is in any way less childish.” Akira frowned, not looking at anyone, still arranging the dolls in a pleasing way on the shelf, but her neck gave away that she was blushing.

“My word, Akira, is that embarrassment?” Yuriko’s voice came from the other girl’s room, echoing with all the dramatic flair only someone they thought wasn’t paying attention anymore could muster, “I never thought you’d be feeling that until your breasts sagged.”

“I should never have allowed Kiki to move out,” Jun whispered to Kazuko, “I miss these lively meetings, she has such interesting friends.”

The sun was setting when they finally finished putting most things in place. It was odd, overwhelming, even, to have this many people in the same apartment as her and interacting with her. By the time three o’clock rolled in, she had excused herself to her bedroom. It was just… too much for her to handle in one go, especially with Ryuko not knowing what an inside voice is, and Yuriko not understanding the concept of personal space, but more than that. Akira’s hands on hers when she tripped and fell, and the other woman was helping her up. Akira smiling at her when she said something smart. Just… Akira’s entire existence. She had seen the new plaque on the door to the other’s room, with her name in kanji, and the dawn represented her so well.

She meant to only be out of it for maybe fifteen minutes, but she startled awake when Akira knocked on her door at six in the afternoon.

“Hey, Kazu, they left already. Tacchi said he’d bring Mona’s condo tomorrow, so I left my keys with him,” she said, and Kazuko sat up on her bed, wincing at the constriction of staying with a push up bra too long. “Was that okay? I’d’ve asked before doing it, but you were asleep…”

Kazuko blinked, bleary eyed, feeling like shit after her mid-day nap. She didn’t need to look in the mirror to know her hair was a disaster, she didn’t need to look down to know her skirt was bunched up to her waist.

“Uhn, ‘s okay… Is Morgana free from his cage now?” She asked, yawning.

“Yeah, he’s literally chilling with a leaf of catnip, stoned out of his kitty mind, I think Tacchi gave him too much catnip today to keep him calm.” Akira laughed, and Kazuko’s heart skipped an entire beat.

“God, my mouth feels like I swallowed an entire cotton ball, is there anything left of that cranberry juice in the fridge?” She got up, still too asleep to think of the consequences of just stripping in front of her new roommate.

“Ye...ah, I think, I’ll get you a glass,” Akira said, and Kazuko heard her exit the room, the door left only a sliver open before what she’s done caught up with her, and left her in her panties and an unhooked bra, blushing and cringing inside.

 _Nice going, Kazuko, real smooth_ , she thought, embarrassed.

She pulled on her pajamas, not wanting to get bothered with actually looking presentable anymore. Akira was going to be her roommate, she was bound to see Kazuko’s worst and run for the hills if she put the bar anywhere but barely above the floor.

The living room looked a lot different than she imagined it being before, but at least it wasn’t a mess anymore. A tuxedo cat with the loudest yellow bandana sat on the arm of the couch, perfectly still, a leaf on his nose perfectly balanced; several smaller plastic trinkets sat on his head and back. Akira wasn’t joking when she said Morgana was stoned.

“So, uh. Is he okay?” Kazuko asked, looking over at Akira, who seemed a little distressed looking at the fridge.

“He’ll be fine as long as we don’t open the window,” she said, and then continued after a pause, “hey, are you up for some beer? I think we drank all the juice this afternoon.”

“Normally,” Kazuko started, “I would say no, because in my three years of Crime Sci, I’ve shared rooms and apartments with straight girls and wouldn’t want to get drunk and say something gay that I would regret.” She sighed. “But today is finally the day I’m free from having to keep my comments about the cute neighbor to myself.” Akira offered a can and she took it, clanking their beers together, then chugging half of it in one go.

“And what is the commentary on the cute neighbor that you were keeping to yourself all this time?” Akira asked, sitting beside her on the couch and sipping hers, which was probably a wise example to be followed.

“Her hair is pretty. Like, she has this really fluffy afro, spent a long while thirsting.” Kazuko said, chugging the rest of her beer and noticing Akira had brought the pack along. “You know how when you’re thirsting, it’s worse when you don’t have anyone to talk to about it?”

“Yes.”

“Couldn’t just up and tell my straight, six boyfriends in a month roommate that I thought the neighbor had soft hair, but there wasn’t a single flirtatious way of saying ‘lemme touch it’ that didn’t come off as creepy.” She grabbed another can. “I can look the neighbor in the eye again, but that was a rough six weeks until I convinced myself that nothing would happen.”

“That’s rough, buddy,” Akira chuckled, leaning into the pillows of the couch, taking a much longer swig of her beer, and Kazuko took those precious seconds to stare. The messy bun of wavy black hair, with the loose strands artfully cascading down her neck. The way her chest moved when she swallowed, the curve of her breasts, how her shirt was so sheer she could see the red lace of the bra she wore, and how little her leggings did to hide that her legs were perfect.

 _Now is not the time to remember you haven’t gotten laid since the last frat party of last semester_ , Kazuko berated herself, but it was hard to keep that mantra in her head when the beer hit her mostly empty stomach and the alcohol started to numb her defenses and brain-to-mouth filter.

“No, rough is what I’d pay a prostitute to do to me right now,” she said, bitterly. “Couldn’t bring anyone home because we had a stupid no boyfriends allowed, but homegirl was always sneaking her boyfriends in.” She turned bodily to Akira, holding her arm. “I haven’t gotten any since Kappa Delta’s bathroom last semester, Akira. I’m dying.” Kazuko announced, deathly serious.

“Well, well, well, look who’s a lightweight,” Akira laughed, changing her beer can to the other hand so she could pat Kazuko’s head. “To be honest, I don’t mind if you bring girls home? I know I don’t have the cold blood to keep you to a rule I know I’ll break.”

Kazuko nearly let out something flirtatious and completely inappropriate that would’ve ruined their arrangement. Thankfully, she managed to keep her mouth shut.

Morgana chose that moment to wake up from his stoner stupor, jumping straight onto Kazuko’s back (but luckily not clawing), startling her. The cat shoved her into Akira’s breasts, and bolted off to explore the apartment, which… left Kazuko in the awkward position of having her face touching Akira’s breasts.

“Ugh, I’m sorry…” Akira started, balancing her beer so it didn’t slosh more than it had. “He didn’t scratch you, right?”

“N-no…I’m just a little… That was one hell of a snap back to life, wasn’t it?” Kazuko tried to laugh it off, straightening herself so she wasn’t leaning right into the source of all her wet dreams as of late.

“He’s done way worse. You know Ann?”

“Takamaki? Blonde, six feet tall, always pushing for a candy event?” Kazuko asked, trying to place the name in Akira’s group of friends.

“The same. Apparently, one time I asked her to catsit Mona for me, he spent the whole time sleeping on Ann’s boobs, and wouldn’t let Shiho get anywhere near Ann. My cat nearly broke up the Lesbian Power Couple. He’s a menace,” she said, fondly, as Kazuko cracked another beer open.

“A real charmer,” Kazuko commented.

“Like. It's so hard to imagine anything would break up those two, and it turns out a cat can do it no biggie.”

“Mona is the scourge of the lesbians,” Kazuko declared.

They laughed at that, knees and elbows touching. The feeling was so good, Kazuko didn't know she could feel this warm just from having pleasant company.

“The living room looks nice, but I think I underestimated how many doilies ‘doilies for days’ meant.” Kazuko was finally looking around, appreciating the final effect of the others’ efforts.

“Psh, this isn't even their final form. Yuriko gives me the failed attempts,” she explained. “I have by now three outlet sets of every single embroidery pattern she's ever created.”

“That's nice of her,” Kazuko said, taking a swig of her new beer. “How did she end up dating Ryuko? They're like, how.”

Akira giggled, red starting to seep into her skin, a beautiful flush that just made Kazuko warmer in her lower stomach.

“They _are_ , right? Ryuko needed someone to need her, and Yuriko really needed a crash course in dumb teenager, at first.” Akira’s voice went quiet. “You heard the story of the pervert teacher some six years ago, right? He broke Ryuko’s leg with a rusty pipe. They tried to save the leg, but something that got in started to eat her leg, so she lost it all from a little above the knee.”

“I remember that. Then every girl in the school district came forward to accuse him of sexual harassment,” Kazuko recalled. “I thought her leg was just tattooed to hell and back.”

“Oh, no, it is.” Akira giggled. Kazuko could hear that all day. “Yuriko designed that for her, she's been showing that tattoo off for weeks now.” She took a swig, pensive. “Though you wouldn’t know, both her flesh leg and sports prosthetics have been painted to hell and back. Anyway, Ryuko was in the dumps, feeling ugly and useless, because she wasn’t adapting to the prosthetics as fast as she wanted to, and this was around the time we had befriended Yuriko. Yuriko didn’t know _shit_ about Ryuko and what happened, at the time. So she just up and said, like a fucking A.I., ‘Ryuko-san, I have no idea what you’re so upset about. Sure, you’re not as evenly standard beautiful as Ann-san and Makoto-san, you’re not as sensual as Akira-san, but you are an athlete, and as such, your beauty reflects that truth.’ And Ryuko fucking _lost it._ ”

“Wow, Yuriko really didn’t change that much, then?” Kazuko asked, laughing.

“Look, she cites memes now, so we’re counting it as a win.” Akira took another swig, then set her beer can on the other cans on the floor. “Anyway, whatever happened after that is a jumble, because Ryuko is a disaster, Yuriko only says what she means 20% of the time, and then one day, we’re hanging out outside a frat party with an illegal bottle of wine and they just start making out like it’s normal? And that’s how we found out those two were dating, it was… surreal.” She put both her feet on the couch, then slid up the back cushions, stretching backwards so far it bordered on impossible. Kazuko heard some clinking, and then Akira slinked back, a plate full of cookies in her hands.

Kazuko is pretty sure her brain stopped working and rebooted just by seeing Akira’s leg and stomach muscles work in such detail.

“Want a cookie?” Akira offered.

“Yes,” Kazuko took one, and stared off into the void before asking, “so, I asked Makoto about you, and to be honest, what Tatsuya-san said disappointed me.”

“Huh?” Akira asked dumbly, mid-bite.

“I mean, you’re a clubs gymnast, one would think you’d be better with your hands. But I guess the power tool and the… _other_ power tools in your box tell a very disappointing story,” Kazuko finished, and elected to sip at her beer so her hand would hide most of her blush.

“ _Hey_ , I’ll have you know clubs make you _exceedingly_ good at using tools.” Akira pouted. Morgana came prancing back, holding a toy in his mouth, which she took. “See, you gotta be really good at controlling a moving thing with your wrist. Maybe my fingers aren’t as dexterous as say, Makoto’s, but I’m really good at other things,” she waggled her eyebrows at Kazuko, and winked, sending the other woman into a giggling fit.

“God have mercy, you lifted that from gay porn, didn’t you?” Kazuko accused, still laughing,

“Hey, you’re the one saying it, maybe you’re the one watching too much gay porn, miss-I-haven’t-gotten-laid-since-july.” Akira teased back, bopping Morgana’s nose with the toy before the cat viciously attacked the squeaky mouse.

Kazuko found herself opening another can before answering.

“A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do, Kiki.” She smiled over the rim of her beer, idly looking out the window.

“So, this is what you did, without TV? Stared out the window? Probably grabbed a nice thick textbook to flex the mind, drank some healthy juice eating takeout chinese?” Akira poked at her, grabbing the TV remote and the Playstation controller.

“Sometimes I look up porn eating pizza with Coke, too,” she replied. “Nah, sometimes I play MapleStory, other times I just want the mind-numbing effect of facebook match-threes.”

Akira bodily turned to Kazuko, putting a foot on the couch to stare at her, amusement clear on her face.

“Kazu. You’re the fake facebook that Makoto keeps yelling at on _her_ fake account?” She sounded way too pleased, her smiling increasing tenfold when Kazuko assented, nodding. “Oh my _god_ , you two are ridiculous.”

“She’s just upset that I managed to blast her highscores again,” she scoffed, shaking a hand.

“God, I should ask Ryuko to bring her Switch and have a Mario Party sleepover,” Akira suggested, shoving an entire cookie in her mouth in the most graceless way. _I can’t believe I still want to fuck her_ , Kazuko thought. “See if the apartment is still standing in the morning.”

“You’re a menace, did you know,” Kazuko asked. “We’ve barely got you moved in and you want to bring the apartment down.”

“Aw, c’mon, you don’t mean that. It’s not like it would be me doing the destruction.” Akira opened Netflix and started browsing the selections. “Do you want to watch a really weird movie?”

“Depends. How bad is it?”

“It’s called Swiss Army Man. It’s been in my recs for weeks, but I didn’t wanna watch alone.”

Kazuko agreed.

Very soon after, she wished she didn’t.

‘Take a shot for everytime he talks with the corpse’ turned into ‘take a shot whenever the corpse says something absurd’, and very soon they had gone through the two six-packs Akira had brought with her.

“This movie… Best.” Akira managed, giggling like a madwoman, while Kazuko stared at the ending, the screen flashing Daniel Radcliffe’s beatific smile while his character essentially fart-blasted away, in the most insane plot twist that she’s ever seen in an absurdist movie.

“I’m. I don’t. What,” she finally said, her alcohol-addled brain finally catching up with her mouth, “what the _fuck_ did we watch?”

“One kanji for you: perfection.”

She stared at the black-haired woman, expression blank, until the other’s smile fell. Then, she allowed the giggles to come out, involuntarily leaning into the other.

“This wasn’t perfection, but holy shit, this _is_ the weirdest thing I’ve ever watched,” Kazuko said, “the absolute most brainless thing I’ve ever had the pleasure of witnessing. It’s got the depth of a kiddie pool, you can’t even analyze it, I love it.”

“Only you would make it about how deep the movie goes,” Akira pouted. “Ugh, it’s getting late, I have to sleep off most of the hangover before my shift tomorrow-- shit.”

Akira had gone rigid, and Kazuko startled off the other, wide eyed.

“What?”

“We forgot to fix up my bed… ugh… I’ll grab my covers to sleep on the couch then…”

It was then that Kazuko had the dumbest idea she’s ever had.

“You could sleep with me, it’s a queen size.”

Akira seemed just as drunk as Kazuko, because she agreed readily, smiling like Christmas had come early.

“Lemme just run really quick to put on pajamas, I’ll be right there!”

Akira couldn’t be anywhere near as drunk as Kazuko felt, because she actually walked to her own bedroom, unlike Kazuko who was dragging her feet every other step, and had to pause two times to hold onto the wall to stop the world from spinning. Though, she reached her bed before Akira had even changed her clothes, which she counted as a win in her book.

She snuggled her pillow, happy to put her back onto something nice and soft, and horizontal. She wanted to stay there forever, yes. Forever sounded good, because once the good feelings went away, she would be met with the cold reality of the hangover, and she wasn’t too happy about it. Kazuko had barely fallen asleep when she felt her mattress dip as another person’s weight was added to it.

“Wow, this is so soft,” Akira mused, sleepily. “Wish I didn’t have to leave in the morning like a bad fuck, though…”

“Bold of you to assume i would let a bad fuck would stay until the morning,” Kazuko said, yawning, “you’re the first chronic sex toy user to ever touch my bed.”

“That’s so mean, Kazu-chan,” the other whined, and then, closer than Kazuko thought she was, “I’m plenty proficient with my fingers too,” she said, fingers ghosting against Kazuko’s hipbone. Kazuko’s legs fell open involuntarily, as she leaned into the other woman, sighing softly, exposing her neck so Akira could nip at it.

The hand on her hip had quickly slid into her panties, teasingly drawing patterns into her skin, as Akira bit into her neck, making Kazuko moan.

“Gonna make you feel so good, you're going to take it back, Kazu-chan,” she heard Akira whisper in her ear, hot and playful, and her hips ground into the other's hand. Akira laughed, a little breathless, shifting on the bed so Kazuko was sprawled on the mattress, and situated herself between her legs.

“Points lost for manhandling me,” Kazuko joked, smiling, and Akira giggled, insinuating her body onto Kazuko’s, nuzzling her from the short curls between her legs, to her belly, paying special attention to her breasts, all the while doing her best to maintain eye contact.

“I guess you'll just have to punish me, won't you?”

Kazuko’s eyes widened, before a wicked smile settled in her features, and she delighted in the way Akira swallowed, her eyes widened and her fingers tightened on her arm and breast.

“Then get on it, Kiki.” She grabbed Akira’s hair, pulling a little on the strands, and pushing the woman down.

Akira complied, kissing and licking her way down, teasing Kazuko. She put her hand not occupied with a breast between Kazuko’s legs, teasing the lips there, and of course Akira had a shit eating grin when Kazuko let out an embarrassing moan.

“Eager aren’t we?” Finally, she reached the place Kazuko wanted her to, her breath teasing over the lips of her vagina. She meeped at the sudden feeling, and nearly died of embarrassment as Akira laughed, leaning on her inner thigh. “So the boss girl is cute. Good to know.”

“I’m not cute,” Kazuko mumbled.

“Sure,” Akira said, leaning in to lick Kazuko’s clit, working in a finger with shallow little thrusts. Kazuko’s hand on her hair tightened, and Akira hummed mid lick.

Kazuko was wet, so, so wet, because in mere seconds every time Akira’s finger went in it made a lewd ‘schlick’ noise. She could barely breathe, the pleasure was getting too much as she ground onto the other’s face, and she started to drown in it… but why couldn’t she breathe right?

~*~

Kazuko woke up _seconds_ away from coming, pushing away whatever had her in a vice grip, holding her face against a soft something that didn’t let her breathe. She turned her head away, finally managing some air in, and as she woke up more, she started noticing things.

Firstly, that the things suffocating her were breasts. Breasts attached to a very gorgeous girl, who was hugging her in her sleep.

Secondly, said gorgeous girl was Akira, her roommate.

Thirdly, her mouth was full of cotton balls, her head too, and her entire body screamed cheated as she stood there, hugged to death, unsatisfied and feeling like shit while her alarm went off.

 

* * *

 

 **Kiki**  
makoto kill me

 **Makoto**  
What did you do?

 **Kiki**  
u kno how i grab nthing movin in my sleep

 **Makoto**  
Yes?

 **Kiki**  
we 4got to put up my bed yesterday  
kazu n i were drunk  
we slept on the same bed  
she moved round  
i hugged her  
except i accidentally shoved her face in my boobs  
i nearly killed her

 **Makoto**  
She hasn’t gotten laid since July, I think she would’ve loved to die like that.

 **Kiki**  
makoto b srs pls  
this isnt how i want to have her die on me  
id rather have her die on me in french

 **Makoto  
** Disgusting.


	2. crash and burn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're disasters. It's always bound to crash and burn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHAHAHAHAHA i know i lied about being only a week but hear me out.  
> elections came up and i thought i wouldn't get stressed over a nazi running for president but i was WRONG  
> anyway have this <3

“Kazuko! Over here!”

She stood on her tiptoes to find where Makoto was. The crowded coffee shop made it really difficult, with people standing everywhere and refusing to move when she asked politely ‘excuse me, I’m meeting a friend can you move’. As such, she started shoving. No one would think that the person who just elbowed them in the ribs was the japanese girl in the cream denim jumpsuit and flower-embroidered peter pan collared shirt, pink converses and a giant bag with a cartoon pink bunny. The perfect disguise. 

All she needed to enhance the image of pure innocence was pigtails and metallic gold rose Harry-Potter-like round fake glasses.

“That took a while,” Makoto complained when she finally seated down. “I was going to start without you.”

“Oh, shut up, this place is crowded, you obviously got here like, half an hour before the time we agreed on.” Kazuko narrowed her eyes, glaring at Makoto.

“I don’t know what you mean,” the other girl said, innocently sipping on her trenta caramel macchiato with extra syrup and whipped cream. “Did you bring the file? We need to ace this presentation if we want to nab those internships.”

“Oh please, like our classmates can even catch up to us, Makoto,” Kazuko scoffed, pulling out the Binder.

“True, but it’s no reason to slack off,” Makoto nodded.

“Damn, I wish we could, just for today, I’m still hungover…”

“Oh, is that it? I thought you were still dazed from having woken up drooling on Akira’s breasts.”

Hands pausing over the page she was going to turn, Kazuko looked up at Makoto with dread.

“Huh. Uhm. She told you that, did she.” This was awkward. Kazuko longed for the sweet release of death. She had the distinct impression Makoto was laughing at her.

“There is very little Akira won’t share with her friends,” she explained. “I’m pretty sure she told you about the day she went in naked into my bedroom while I was with Haru, grabbed her panties from the clothesline, and went out again saying ‘sorry to interrupt, you may resume your scheduled fingerbang’.”

“I don’t think she’s capable of shame, if I’m being honest,” Kazuko complained, “I could barely focus on my job. I was working register and zoned out, and thank god it was just Mrs. Fitzgerald, because any other person would’ve eaten me alive.”

“You realize I can just tell this to her. I can tell Akira right now that you’re thirsting,” Makoto said, lifting up her phone and showing her Akira’s contact.

“You wouldn’t, you don’t know yet how the situation would benefit you,” Kazuko countered, finally flipping the page over, as nonchalantly as she could pretend to be with a bright red blush spreading from her foundation-covered face to her not-as-covered neck.

“True. But I will find out soon enough, won’t I?” Makoto had a neutral smile on her face, and that scared Kazuko more than she cared to admit. “Class starts soon and I’m dying to see the effect Kiki has on your grades.”

“I’ve had crushes before, Makoto. I'm not a teenage girl with a crush on her classmate anymore.”

Makoto smiled, pulling up her notebook for the drafts.

“True, but you are still a disaster. Plus, you've never lived with your crushes before, and lord knows Akira can be… distracting.” She said it with ominous vagueness.

“Say that from experience, much?” Kazuko asked, rummaging her bag for a highlighter and pencils so they could start.

“You have no idea.”

They decided it was high time to stop dawdling then, and three hours later they finally emerged from the café with a proper conclusion, and a strawberry matcha iced latte for Kazuko.

“Let's agree to disagree on that last part, we're obviously projecting that detail from personal experience,” Makoto said, holding her head in her hands, her frap long gone.

“Agreed. Meet again next week with all the possible ways for this hypothesis to cave into our faces?” Kazuko pleaded, resting her face on her drink, willing the warmness away.

“Yes. Meeting adjourned. You choose the place, but it’ll have to be on Friday or Saturday,” Makoto gathered her things, neatly organizing the pens in her old as fuck Buchimaru case.

“So Saturday, I’ve been doing extra hours on Fridays.”

“Wow, gonna buy a ring already? Boyle-ing it out, Akechi?” The other girl teased, smirking.

“I don’t know, will Akira fall in love with me instantly for owning several hundred-dollar textbooks I don’t want to put on my credit card?” Kazuko deadpanned, shifting the contents of her bag so they were in a position they wouldn’t hurt her as she walked home.

“Don’t you have that ‘pocket money’ your father sends you every month?”

“Spent it already.”

“On what, weed? Cocaine? A sense of self-worth?”

“Therapy, stationary and made the mistake of thinking I would enter Yesstyle and LaPerla’s websites and walk away with no purchases.”

Makoto looked at her, sympathy and pain clear in her scrunched up face.

“I never thought I’d say this, Kazuko, but. You are so valid.”

 

* * *

 

**Kiki**   
Dad i have N E W S

**Jun**   
It better be that you kept your scholarship after that stunt you pulled with gym equipment.

**Kiki**   
D A D, i told you its  _ FINE _ , they didnt even press charges   
No the news are i got the job   
But i call bullshit it was for own merits

**Jun**   
Why you say that, sweetheart?

**Kiki**   
If you think i wouldnt know Sojiro because its been 18 years, youre wrong

**Jun**   
Oh well. We didn’t tell him to hire you, if that’s what you’re saying.

**Tatsuya**   
Your cat condo is in your bedroom   
We just told Sojiro you sent him a resume.

**Kiki**   
O ok   
Still calling bullshit   
Anyway, the ~real~ news is that i have been betrayed by one of my best friends

**Jun**   
What did Ann do this time?

**Kiki**   
O not ann   
M A K O T O

**Tatsuya**   
What did Makoto do this time?

**Kiki**   
Hung out with Kazuko and wont give me the deetz

**Jun**   
Akira, just tell her you like her, why is this suddenly so difficult.

**Kiki**   
I did tell her i like her! I think. We were drunk   
On other news, don’t do drinking games watching dan rad movies

**Tatsuya**   
Kiki, no.

**Jun**   
Is there a book in parenting that tells you what to do when your adult daughter drinks enough to forget what she did and then informs you she did that?

 

* * *

 

That fated Wednesday, Kazuko thought she wasn’t going to be teased by the gods via Akira. She was wrong.

“Akira, you… huh.” She had barely opened the door when she saw the couch was pulled back, the tea table on it, the floor now covered in tatami, and Akira was in the middle of it, body contorted into a position that shouldn’t be natural, and yet she looked far too at ease staying in it, checking her phone boredly. “Anything good in the news?”

“Some guy named Masayoshi Shido is running for prime minister in Japan, nothing worth mentioning here, just the normal.” Akira said, changing positions slightly to allow for diaphragm control beyond breathing. Kazuko’s blood ran cold at the mention of her father, and she shoved the entirety of her feelings on the matter under a thick rug in her mental space to not deal with it now.

“Huh. Interesting. What are his promises?” She asked, politely.

“Uhhhh, he’s making his campaign based on family values and respectability politics?” Akira said, scratching her nose with her toe, pensive. “Doesn’t fucking matter, really, ain’t gonna cast my ballot for him anyway.”

“It’s hilarious, really, that he’s basing his campaign on family values, isn’t it rumored that he has like, a hundred mistresses around Japan?” Kazuko tried to say neutrally heading towards the impromptu gym.

“I don’t know, but I heard from a family friend he’s corrupt as fuck. She’s been looking him up everywhere and is working on a whole exposé that may never see the light of day, but damn, does she have some dirt on him.” Akira was still scrolling her timeline, looking for an interesting thing to talk about, while Kazuko sat there on the part of the couch that wasn’t covered by their tea table, thinking whether or not change the subject herself. “Ah, by the way, some shit arrived for you, I put them in your bedroom.”

“Oh, thank you. I was wondering when they would arrive.” Kazuko said, boredly. “... so what did you do today, besides using our living room as an impromptu gym?”

Akira waved a foot dismissively before stretching and changing positions into the widest leg forward bend she’s ever seen.

“Had an interview at a café. Turns out, the owner is my old case worker.” She used her nose to scroll up. “Dad knew and probably asked Sojiro to hire me.”

“Well, that is odd.”

“Oddest still when you remember I was adopted in Japan. What even is he doing across the Pacific, doesn’t he have more small children to terrorize?” Akira mused, apparently having finished her series, and sitting down to lay down on her stretched out legs in front of her.

“I have a distinct memory of before you moved in, when you drunk-dialed me at 3AM asking me to pretend to be your boyfriend because some idiot wouldn’t stop hitting on you,” Kazuko said, amused, “that people have the right to come and go as they very damn well please.”

“Don’t use my words against me, that’s not funky fresh.”

“Akira, you wouldn’t know funky fresh if it hit you in the face. Your idea of a nice choice of clothing to meet a very obvious lesbian was booty shorts and flannel shirt open like you’re a bear at Pride.” Kazuko huffed indignantly.

“I’ll have you know that  _ is _ funky fresh where my bio mom comes from.” Akira huffed back, just as injusticed. “Also, how was I supposed to know beforehand you were a fucking bambi lesbian, Kazu? It’s not like you give anyone any vibe to speak of.”

“Well, look at the facts. We’re all friends with Niijima; does she look like the kind of person whose friends are straight in any capacity?”

Akira snorted uglily, and all Kazuko could think of was that she still wanted to fuck this woman into next week.

“I forget you only knew her as lesbian hellbiker, not in high school, where she had, indeed, several straight friends.”

“Wrong. I did know her in high school, though only the last year. She used to come over to my house sometimes, and we’d drink some of mom’s shitty vodka mixes and whine about the Straights, trademark, and girls who were equal parts beautiful and fucking dumb.” Kazuko raised an eyebrow, daring Akira to do anything with the information.

“Oh, so you knew her as she was coming to terms with the fact she didn’t like boys.” The other typed away on her phone, awkward. “That explains the dip her grades took midway through her last year, though, if she was getting mildly intoxicated on the regular.”

Kazuko’s smile widened and she was sure she looked like a Grinch in makeup now, because even though Makoto counted Akira as one of her best friends, Akira  _ didn’t know this piece of juicy gossip _ .

“Oh, no, that has nothing to do with getting drunk on a weekly basis, we’ve met and started doing it while school was still out.” She crossed her legs and laced her fingers together on her lap like a goddamn supervillainess. “Her grades took a dip because we slept together and she didn’t deal with it very well at first.”

Akira’s impish smile turned legit demonic hearing it, having found  _ it _ , the one actual piece of dirt on her friend that actually existed. Kazuko’s cold, frozen heart from years of repression started defrosting and beating again at such a beautiful sight caused by mutual tormenting of a mutual friend.

“ _ Oh my god, Kazuko, I’m so glad you told me this, I’ve been looking on dirt on Makoto for ages _ , do you have any idea how hard it is to find  _ anything _ on Ms Perfect?” Akira said, laughing, typing furiously on her phone what Kazuko assumed was a lengthy blackmail text to Makoto.

Kazuko was so in love right now.

“I can give you the deets, because I didn’t spend this entire time since then denying it ever happened and trying to forget.” She did, but that’s just not how her mind works at all.

“ _ Gimme _ .”

Kazuko took her sweet time building up the expectations, rolling the story around in her mind to not make it sound like she was hating on Makoto (because she wasn’t; they were both shitty to each other, and Kazuko was pretty sure that to break the Makoto Curse you needed True Love’s First Oral, is what she means), getting up and grabbing a bag of discount Nerds she had for moments like this. She leaned on the breakfast bar, pushing a single sugar candy against her lips, smirking. Sucking the rock candy in, she pulled a stool and sat down to tell the story.

“So we met because we were neighbors in high school. My asshole dad’s pension pays for the rent, my enrollment in a private school, you know. It’s been paying for mom’s lifestyle all these years, the alimony. That also means mom’s always not home, shopping, out with friends, dating. I don’t care at this point, I’m in high school in a different country, angsting something fierce, barely speaking english in a level where I can actually talk to the bitch leaving cigarette butts in my veranda.”

“Back the fuck up, Makoto smoked?”

“No, her sister does. Don’t tell Sae I called her a bitch, though, she’ll rip me apart from head to toe, and I’d probably thank her.” Kazuko said, all seriousness, and Akira’s face was one of someone who has seen Sae shoot the messenger before. “But like, I’m going over to her apartment to bitch at whoever smoked the stinky Marlboros and this is how I met Makoto and realized I was indeed, very gay.”

“Incredible. Your origin story.” Akira was  _ in stitches _ for some reason, her phone pinging like mad, and her doing her best to ignore it.

“Anyway, Makoto and I get this friendly rivalry thing we have going by then, because we were petty, competitive and like. That’s what you do when you’re trying to show off, right, you set up study dates and compare grades and try to outsmart each other.”

“I don’t know you, but Makoto is still petty, competitive and a complete show off.”

“It doesn’t matter, but my grades are better than Makoto, because I smile more often.”

Akira is  _ living _ and Kazuko is so glad.

“Anyway, around the time of The Big Dip, as Makoto called it, and we both diverged on what was dipping, here, we decided why not date. She’s a lesbian, I’m a lesbian, we’re friends, what can go wrong?”

“Many things, I suppose?”

Kazuko nodded.

“Well, for one all we did was fight in that week and a half. As friends we had a nice system of taking turns choosing where to go and deciding the date to do it together, but apparently american romcoms shoved in our heads that couples decided everything together. So we applied it to us.”

“Recipe for disaster.”

“Stop interrupting. Makoto wanted to go to bike conventions, shitty coffee shops, walk forest trails to watch the sunset. I wanted moderately fancy diners, cozy cafés, and my idea of a nature date is  _ going to the park _ . The only thing we could agree on was the library, but the library isn’t the most romantic thing on earth.” She paused to shovel a bunch of nerds in her mouth like a heathen; her mother would have a heart attack if she saw her now. “So, logically, that led to a lot of fighting. So we decided only one thing would solve our problems.”

“Oh my god. Are we nearing The Big Dip?” Akira was  _ kneeling on the couch _ , pinging phone forgotten on the mats on the floor.

“Yeah. So like, it’s a lie to say we slept together the once and she freaked out. We saw pretty early on that we were fighting way too much when we weren’t studying, so we did what straight people did to fix their failing relationships. We switched gears mid-fight, started kissing and I shoved my hands in her uniform skirt and things went downhill from there.”

“Kazuko, I was promised the  _ deets _ . Give me the  _ deets _ , woman.”

She glared at Akira, dry and scathing like the desert.

“What, do you wanna know how we spent that entire four days with her doing the very crazy and inadvisable stunt of jumping over from her balcony to mine so we could perfect our girl-pleasing abilities? Or how I’m never going to get a better oral in my fucking  _ life _ and it’s been what, five years? No one has even come close to besting the technique the bitch refined in those four days, Akira, it’s been haunting me.” Kazuko said, angst plain and clear in her face.

“ _ God, mood _ .” Akira replied, face warping as complete despair took over her features. “I mean,  _ how does she do that with her tongue, _ it’s unreal!”

“Right?! That’s so incredibly mean to do to a person!” Kazuko whined, shoving more Nerds in her mouth like they’re the only thing keeping her sane right now. Her anxiety medication was now candy. Yes. She can just jog it off later. “Anyway, the day that sparked The Big Dip was also the day that fucking ruined me for any other oral. There were we, naked, Makoto tonguing me like  _ that _ , and I just.”

Kazuko can’t say it in one go, apparently. The words get stuck in her throat a little, and she takes a deep breath.

“Yes?”

“I blurt out ‘Makoto, I love you, you asshole’.”

Akira could do no wrong in Kazuko’s mind, but she was coming real close by laughing at her misfortune like this.

“It’s not funny, you…” Kazuko tried to protest, but the embarrassment of having admitted that is getting to her.

“No, it is! You flat out called Makoto an asshole while saying you love her, this is gold!” Akira nearly fell from the couch laughing, barely catching herself with her hands when she tipped back and lowering herself on her elbows like it was her plan all along. “I mean, it explains why you two are so aggressive towards each other at the very least.”

“Oh my god, did you hear the story at all? We were always like that, Akira.” She rolled her eyes, taking a deep breath and continuing. “Anyways, Makoto at that time is a bigger disaster than I’ll ever be, so she flips her lid at that. She’s in full panic mode, and she apologized for it later, but she yelled at me that she thought being a lesbian was just a physical thing, she didn’t want the attached emotions. We broke up and spent two weeks flat out ignoring each other in the elevator.”

“That’s beautiful. And then The Big Dip occurred.”

“Her grades dropped, my grades dropped, we both freaked the fuck out and decided our grades were worth more than our prides, and subsequent dignities. We could handle being around each other,  _ for the grades _ . We fixed our grades, talked it out and decided we would never,  _ ever _ , see each other like that again, it’s just… bad for our healths, I guess.”

“Truly the love story of the Millennial age,” Akira commented, sliding off the couch so she could stand up again.

“Yeah. Do you mind if I place an order for a bottle of vodka with our food, I need to forget what I just relived.” Kazuko made no move to grab her bag, that was still on the couch, and actually order the food, instead sitting more comfortably and watching, eating the candy like popcorn while Akira busied herself bending over and picking up her yoga things. It’s what she deserved, after having to tell the incredibly bad tale of her tryst with Makoto.

“I thought you said you weren’t actively suppressing the memories?” Akira was on all fours now, retrieving her phone from where it vibed itself under the couch, and  _ gods, _ Kazuko actually licked her lips.

“I’m not. I can still try to drown it once in a while.”

“That’s not a healthy coping mechanism.” Akira was  _ still _ on all fours, and something jingled from there. She scooted over, hips swaying and Kazuko’s mind just went to the dirtiest places, thinking about biting and, surprisingly, spreader bars. Huh.

“Never claimed to have any of those,” she said, dazed, watching Morgana dash after the bell ball Akira threw from under the couch, but quickly returning to Akira, who was stretching.

“Uh-huh. Just don’t turn into an alcoholic.”

Like Kazuko needed alcohol to be saying things she would regret.

“I’ll try.”

Something fabric-y and very pink hit her face, and Kazuko realized, with not a small amount of pain, Akira had thrown her her bag.

“Ouch! You madwoman, don’t throw people’s things!”

Akira, in her defense, was pretty alarmed.

“Oh my god, I’m sorry, I thought you were seeing what I was doing,  _ I thought you would catch-- _ Hey! It’s what you deserve, you were totally ogling my butt.” There was no malice behind the words, as Akira was smiling, but Kazuko was nursing her nose, embarrassed at being caught and angry at Akira for having thrown a heavy bag at her face in the first place.

“You have no proof that would hold in a court of law,” is what Kazuko said as means of defense.

“You know full well that in the court of friends, that’s as good as an admission of guilt, don’t you?” Akira said, trying to sound annoyed, but she wasn’t truly, and Kazuko was so relieved inside.

“I did stay here and weather this most terrible torture, having to stare at Akira’s ass, and I survived,” she said, mockingly.

“Fuck off, my ass is great.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I am, it’s a good ass. You’re just jealous.” Akira huffed, and crossed her arms.

“I’m not convinced, I need more tangible evidence,” she said before getting up and straight up groping the other girl’s butt, who squeaked in surprise. “Huh, who’d’ve thought, you’re right,” Kazuko said, took her bag from the table and ran to her bedroom, closing the door before Akira could wake up from her stupor.

She started unpacking her new purchases, with less enthusiasm than probably she felt when purchasing all these items.  _ Yay new bridal collection that I’m gonna wear despite not being bride material. Yay new makeup that I most likely didn’t need except for the glue. Yay new stationary that was absolutely necessary, I have an instagram to run-- _

She wanted to stay in her bedroom forever, going out through the fire escape for work only, ordering food like the time her roommate decided to go “fuck the rules” and sexiled Kazuko to her room while she had sex on the living room, forcing her to call the delivery man to direct him to the ladder and point which room.

Sadly, she could not stay there, holed up and making a special request to have her food delivered through the fire escape again, as she was responsible for ordering food for the both of them, and delivering to the fire escape only meant she would have to open the door and talk to Akira again, so better was if she ripped that bandaid fast.

“Hey, Akira, I--” She started, but the other girl was nowhere in sight. All she could see now was that her living room was back to its normal look as of yesterday, with the center table and everything. She poked her head around the corner, looking everywhere for her roommate. She couldn’t hear a single noise coming from anywhere. “Akira?” She knocked on the door of the other’s bedroom, hesitant. “Hey, uh, I-- I’m sorry?”

“For what?” Someone said into Kazuko’s ear and she screamed like a banshee, while the perp (Akira) laughed her pretty head off.

“Akira, you fucking bitch! You nearly scared me to death, what the shit!” She screamed, stomping like a five year old throwing a tantrum, with about 90% less crying.

“Aw, sorry, it was just a little payback,” Akira said before hugging her, and it was just then that Kazuko noticed that she, herself, was taller than Akira. Not by much, but by a significant margin, enough that Akira had to look up a little.

Her mind was running with  _ ideas _ . Ideas she didn’t need this early in the night, it was barely eight. She really needed to get back on that repression train, her newfound freedom was giving her mind a power trip.

“Yeah-- uh. I’m going to order something, what do you want?”

“Hey, no worries, I got home way earlier than I thought, so I started dinner already.” Akira pointed the rice maker cooking and the crock pot boiling… something that smelled amazing. “The meat was just marinating a little when you got home, it should be finished in 30 minutes.”

“Do you mind if I do order a bottle of vodka, though? I’m happy you enjoyed my story and will inflict pain on Makoto using it, but like,” she paused. “I need to at least dull the pain that was what Makoto thought passed as rejection when she was 18.”

“Knock yourself out, I’ll check on our future gyoza fillings.”

The companionship was nice. Akira put on a beautiful documentary on restaurants around the world with the most exquisite foods around, Kazuko had retrieved her binder from the bag in her bedroom and poked holes at hers and Makoto’s hypothesis with a highlighter and a pencil, while Morgana sat on a beautifully embroidered cat bed on the couch, sometimes bothering Kazuko for pets while she thought. Akira was in the kitchen, slicing and dicing and closing the buns with a clinical efficiency.

It was… domestic, in a way. Felt peaceful, as if it were mean to be.

It was home, finally.

 

* * *

 

**Kiki**   
dad, tacchi, can i be honest w you

**Jun**   
Within reason, I don’t see why not, little dove.

**Kiki**   
kazu just gave me years of blackmail on Makoto, just like that. No exchange of favors, no nothing, she just handed me the gold   
i think i’m in love   
how did you two know you were in love

**Tatsuya**   
We were childhood friends, lost touch with each other   
Then one day I was going to the mall after school, passed Kasugayama and caught Jun threatening to hang the caterpillars with their own silk if they didn’t stop eating his flowers.

**Kiki**   
d a d   
thats so on brand wtf

**Jun**   
That’s for Tacchi, for me was when he actually went to Kasugayama with a purpose (he had another friend there???? Betrayal, Tacchi), he took his helmet off and just.   
You know, let’s keep this non-eye-bleaching for Kiki.

**Kiki**   
E W   
DAD   
YOU SAY THAT BUT U ALREADY KILLED ME   
U KILLED UR DAUGHTER   
HOW U FEEL   
KNOWIN UR A MURDERER OF DAUGHTERS   
  
**Jun**   
Don’t be dramatic.Teenagers have thoughts, Kiki, I think you’re very familiar with those thoughts.

**Kiki**   
Ew

**Tatsuya**   
I am actually curious as to what Kazuko-chan told Kiki

**Kiki**   
THANK U, see tacchi gets it, dad   
she was makotos first gf   
they dated for a week and it ended horribly and im LIVING, dads and tacchis

**Jun**   
What could possibly have happened that Makoto would be mortified to hear?

**Kiki**   
kazu confessed mid sex and makoto flipped off and ran via balcony.

**Tatsuya**   
That’s a thing that happened.

**Jun**   
How do you kids call it nowadays? A disaster lesbian?

**Kiki**   
_ yes _ . precisely. makoto used to be a disaster lesbian and im not gonna let her forget it

  
  


**Kiki**   
u dated kazu u fkn minx i knew u were keepin quiet on kazus hotness for a reason

**Makoto**   
AKIRA YOU GODDAMN MENACE HOW DID YOU FUCKING   
YOU KNOW WHAT I KNOW HOW YOU FOUND OUT   
WHAT DID YOU PROMISE KAZUKO THAT SHE AGREED TO TELL YOU   
Wait why am I screaming, of course she hasn’t told you anything beyond that, that was terrible   
She wouldn’t have told you anything

**Kiki**   
u jumped a balcony to see her how sweet y werent u this sweet when we dated u ass

**Makoto**   
AKIRA WHAT THE HELL NO   
WHATEVER YOU’RE THINKING   
NO   
YOU’RE A MENACE THAT MUST STOP   
JUST NO   
STOP RIGHT NOW AKIRA   
DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT   
I’M NOT GOING TO BUDGE   
I DON’T CARE   
FINE SEE IF I HELP YOU WITH ANYTHING ANYMORE   
YOU DEMON   
YOU HAFU DEMON   
YOU’RE GONNA REGRET LEARNING OF THIS   
I’LL FUCKING TALK TO HARU, YOU DEBAUCHED SUCCUBUS

 

* * *

 

Kazuko thought she was having a good week so far.

She succeeded to get her manager to schedule her shifts around her classes, due to campaign reasons her father increased the hush money to twice a month (a welcome surprise that she used to buy her textbooks), Akira was  _ such a good cook _ (Kazuko herself was an okay cook at best, but at least she wasn’t  _ Makoto _ ).

Yeah, this week was going pretty sweetly. Until she opened the door home that day, that is.

“Welcome back, Kazu-chan,” Akira said while Kazuko was short-circuiting at the door in a 4 pose, frozen midway through taking her shoes off, because  _ Akira was wearing nothing but her underwear and an apron _ .

She shook herself, taking off her sneakers and making a bee-line for her bedroom, closing the door and falling face-first on her bed. Akira knocked on her door, Morgana gave it a scratch, both of them being annoying pets begging attention from the owner, it seemed.

“Hey, Kazu, c’mon, come outside, I was making waffles!”

“No! Let Mona in, but you stay out, you fucking catastrophe!” She called out, and the door opened a crack, letting the cat in. Mona stopped by her desk and ran out before the door could close. “Akira, I know you crinkled plastic, that’s cheating.”

“Talk to me then, you didn’t even say hello.” Kazuko could hear, the pout on the other’s voice.

“You’re not wearing clothes!”

“Of course I am! Underwear is still clothing, Kazu.”

“No, it is not!”

“Aw, c’mon, Kazu, you can walk around in your undies too, if it makes you feel better!” Akira said it like it was the greatest idea of the century.

“No! Fuck’s sake, Akira, I’m begging, put some clothes on!”

“Ugh, fine!” she said, resigned, and Kazuko was left in her semi-darkness, waiting for a few minutes before she heard a muffled “I’m dressed” from the other bedroom.

She opened her door a smidge to peek outside. Morgana was sitting by Akira’s door, staring into it, and she couldn’t hear any clinking from the kitchen, nor gaming sounds from the living room, so Akira still was in her bedroom.

Suspicious.

“Say I believe you, Akira. How covered are you?”

“About the same as when we met?” She answered, and it  _ should _ ’ve rang alarm bells in her mind.

“Tolerable. I’m going to put on my pajamas, be right back, then.”

She found it very suspicious that the entire time she was changing her clothes, she didn’t hear a single sound coming from outside to indicate Akira had left her room. Morgana was still sitting in the same place, as if waiting for his owner to show up. Kazuko bent down and petted his head, shaking her head lightly.

“Where’s your human, huh? Did she leave you here, all by yourself, where anyone could grab you and make a tambourine out of you?” She sat down on the heels of her feet, baby-talking at Morgana. “Your mommy doesn’t know, but cat hide makes very good quality tambourine leather. Look at this fur, you obviously would be a brazilian carnival worthy tambourine, wouldn’t you, Mona-chan?”

The door to Akira’s bedroom slammed open, and Akira, wearing a semitransparent negligée and looking very disturbed, stared in horror at Kazuko.

“You sick motherfucker, stop threatening my cat!”

Kazuko merely smiled, still petting Mona.

“But look at him, imagine if a serial cat killer got in, and you lost your cat because you’re too busy playing pranks on your roommate to let him in his own bedroom.”

Akira levelled her with a glare, her unruly hair looking more disheveled than normal. One of the negligée’s straps fell from her shoulder as she crossed her arms.

“Please don’t bring my cat into your crazy paranoid ideas; besides, cat hide makes for a bad tambourine, it’s too thin. You’re better off making it the upper part of a cuica with it, since it uses thinner leather, get your creepy facts straight.” She huffed, making a detour to grab her computer before heading to the living room and flopping gracelessly on the couch before wincing from hitting its frame. “We really need a new couch.”

“Don’t be mean to my couch, it was my last line of defense against having my eyes violated by my ex-roomie.”

“That’s so incredibly… I was going to say off-brand for you,” Akira lifted her arm from her face to look at Kazuko, who simply smiled the fakest of grins, “but after what you just said to Mona, I can actually see you choosing the worst couch in a thrift store that didn’t have fleas just to make your roommate keep it in her room.”

“Oh, I’ve been holding back on the creepy comments,” Kazuko informed her. “Don’t worry, by the end of the year, you’ll be hopping on my dark humor train as well.”

“Are you saying it’s a criminal science thing to comment on the likelyhood of people getting murdered? That’s bleak.”

“I’m saying that by this time next year you’ll have seen so much cadaver innards that commenting on the skinning of pets will sound hilarious. I mean you did just eviscerate a whole human.” She sat beside Akira, pulling on the elastics of her pajamas’ waistband.

“I don’t think  _ that’s _ what made your sense of humor become fucked up.”

“I’m leaning towards having slept with Makoto, myself, because that was a lapse in judgement, don’t you think?”

“I’m leaning towards  _ born this way _ .”

“Akira, don’t be mean to people, it’s not nice,” Kazuko berated her, still smiling.

“God, you’re having fun, aren’t you.”

“Of course. I haven’t had this much fun in years,” she said, and leaned over towards Akira, “besides, this is payback for the whole ‘naked in common areas’ thing.” She booped the other’s nose, before winking and sitting back, appreciating the way Akira’s face became a tomato.

 

* * *

 

**Kiki**   
Dads, do I resemble a cat that much?

**Jun**   
Proper punctuation and the ‘I’ and starting letter were capitalized, either this Kazuko is being a good influence or Kiki is so distraught she turned on autocorrect?

**Kiki**   
Dad this is no time for jokes   
But yes turned on autocorrect

**Jun**   
To answer your question, yes. What happened?

**Tatsuya**   
She called me dad, too, there. Progress.   
And yes, you do, Kiki.

**Jun**   
I HADN’T NOTICED IT! She did! Omg I’m so proud!

**Kiki**   
My roommate is a LAWYER, I plead the fifth   
Damn it, why are y’all so mean to me?   
I asked everyone and they all called me a cat, too!

**Jun**   
It’s the hair and the generally catlike way you act.

**Tatsuya**   
It’s the hair and the way you knock things on the ground to call attention to you.   
Katsuya says ‘it’s the hair and how you headbutt for attention’

**Kiki**   
UNCLE KATSU IS THERE??? BETRAYAL.   
You never invite me home when Uncle Katsu visits.

**Jun**   
‘I love you, my niece, but I’m allergic to cats’ - Katsuya

**Kiki**   
B E T R A Y A L

**Tatsuya**   
I am fairly sure my brother is staying more than one day.

**Kiki**   
STILL

**Jun**   
But what prompted you to finally awaken to your fursona, baby?

**Kiki**   
DAD NO   
Kazuko bopped me on the nose. She only bops Mona on the nose, I know, I asked. Makoto said she only ever bops the nose of pets.

**Jun**   
I truly hope you sent the dirty joke I can see you typing right now to your friends, young lady.

**Kiki**   
FINE, I won’t.   
But I wanted to, if only to see your reactions.

 

* * *

 

“You want me to what?” Kazuko asked, confused.

Yuriko stared, confused that she was confused.

“I’m inviting you to come to my gallery show,” she repeated, handing over a pamphlet looking thing with both hands. “It’s a series of paintings on my experiences with winter, and an embroidery wall on the isolational elements of being an immigrant. I was told you would appreciate the art for its own merits, at the very least.”

It was always a unique experience to talk to Yuriko. Contractions seemed out of place in her speech pattern. Colloquialisms when coming out of her mouth sounded like a ventriloquist was saying it for her. Kazuko couldn’t ever shake the impression she was talking to some kind of misplaced deity, some lost kitsune that got on a plane and got lost, because she was so  _ pretty _ and so damn  _ polite _ and  _ formal _ .

“Yeah, I-- I’m going, yes,” she stammered out, taking the pamphlet, also with both hands. They  _ bowed _ in thanks to each other and it was just so wild. To find someone who didn’t mock her automatic reactions to take things offered with both hands, who also bowed in politeness.

“I would truly be most honored, Kazuko-san. I can barely wait until this Friday,” She said with a disarming smile and Kazuko’s brain did a scratch stop noise.

“Wait, this friday? I have a study session with Makoto.”

“Huh. Makoto had agreed to come, too. Did some kind of miscommunication happen?” Yuriko asked, innocent as an angel, but a corner of her lips was threatening to move upwards in the most shit-eating grin ever.

Kazuko narrowed her eyes, before conceding defeat and sighing. God, this woman was good.

“No, I. Don’t worry, Yuriko-san, I’ll be there,” she agreed, feeling her soul revolt against everything she held dear, like honesty and taking a picture messy-kissing with another girl and tagging her father.

(The latter would obliterate her extra income, but it would be worth it.)

The exhibition was in three days. She could survive that long.

 

* * *

 

 

**Jun**   
Kiki, care to enlighten us on why Yuriko didn’t invite us to her newest exhibition?   
Or, care to tell us how our invite got lost somehow?

**Kiki**   
UH.   
CANT TALK GOTTA PAPER TO WRITE

 

* * *

 

She could not, in fact, survive that long.

In the three days between the invitation and Friday, Kazuko had suffered several attempts on her life by her roommate. Not that she actually tried to kill her, mind you; just generally speaking, Akira being Akira was a much, much more dangerous thing than any bullet to the heart.

That tuesday, Kazuko arrived home to a roommate clad in only a camisole (she knows bc Akira bent over and Kazuko… happened to be looking). That Wednesday, Akira asked her to critique this entire order of lingerie she had apparently bought (but Kazuko knew better, if the angry glares Makoto gave her and the smug ass innocent smile Haru shot her were anything to go by). That thursday, nothing happened, except Akira was just… smirking too much. Like she knew something Kazuko didn’t, which was likely.

“Are you going to tell me what you’re smirking about?” She asked, suspicious, staring at Akira, who was sitting on the couch playing Fortnite, from the kitchen.

“I’m not smirking, Kazu. I’m just… smiling,” the other replied, not taking her eyes off the screen.

“Like I’ll believe that. You’re smirking like a cat that got the canary  _ and _ the cream.”

“I’m not smirking, though. Can’t you see I’m playing, maybe that’s why.”

Kazuko looked up to the screen just as Akira’s character got blasted into oblivion by someone with the tag “al1baba”.

“Yes, I can see why you’re smirking, you’re a masochist who gets off on losing a match.”

“That’s so mean!”

 

* * *

 

**Kiki**   
im sorry i didnt pass along the invitation to yurikos thing   
i swear i have a reason

**Jun**   
Yes, we figured as much.   
Just don’t get yourself arrested.

**Kiki**   
DAD PLS   
whenever did i do anything to get myself arrested before?

**Tatsuya**   
Alphabetical or chronological order?

**Kiki**   
……………..   
fine i wont

 

* * *

 

Kazuko arrived late at the opening.

She had gotten herself stuck at work, and then automatically went to where she had agreed to meet Makoto before remembering they had called it off for the week because of Yuriko’s gallery showing. So when she arrived there, at the very least she was glad there was waiters flitting around with finger food and champagne, because she was suffering.

She understood nothing of art, but even her could tell Yuriko’s paintings were beautiful, hauntingly so in a way, just like their painter. It was weirdly evoking how an impressionist rendition of a random night could evoke the feeling of cold, even if there was no snow in it. Weirdly enough, the ones with snow and frozen lakes and dead plants were the ones where she could actually feel some warmth in it.

“It’s so cool, Yuriko’s such a great artist.” A soft voice said from her left and Kazuko jumped, scared out of her mind that it was Akira pulling another of her stunts.

The girl beside her was soft-looking, about Akira’s height, with long black hair pulled into a braid. Her face was what many japanese men would describe as beautiful, but Kazuko lived with Akira. That, however, was not what caught Kazuko’s attention. What did was that this girl seemed to have longer and more defined legs than Akira could even hope to achieve.

“Yeah. Uh. I’m Kazuko,” she stumbled the words out, tongue unwilling to cooperate.

“Ah! Oh. Um. I’m Yuuki,” the other girl giggled nervously blushing. “I was talking to myself, sorry.”

_ Great first impression, Kazuko, way to go, now she thinks you’re a creepy stalker. _

“Oh, I’m-- I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed.” Now Kazuko was blushing too, embarrassed.

“It’s okay, um. It’s not like I could be talking to anyone else,” she said, and paused, visibly cringing at her words. “That came out wrong. I mean that I came here with friends and they ditched me wholesale to do something else.”

“Ah, those friends,” Kazuko said, sighing. “I have a few of those. Am here because one of them was coming here instead of studying with me for the test. Still have a feeling that it’s a trap and I should’ve gone home.”

“A trap for what?” Yuuki asked, curiosity stamped in her face.

“A trap for me. My roommate has been playing pranks on me the whole week,” Kazuko explained, “and I wouldn’t put it past her to prank me in an art gallery.

“Pfftt, I have a friend like that. She thinks that just because she’s pretty--”

“--she can get away with anything,” they finished in unison, pausing a little in surprise before laughing.

“Yes! Like that. She’s an asshole,” Kazuko said.

“Hey. The unveil of the tapestry won’t be for like, another hour.” Yuuki held up a program of the gallery show, and a waiter paused beside them. The girl took two champagne glasses and extended one to Kazuko. “Wanna look around?”

“Uh…” Kazuko managed, eloquently. Her brain must’ve blanked out for longer than she thought, because Yuuki was getting redder and redder by the second, and looked about ready to knock back both glasses and excuse herself to cry in a corner about being stupid and asking out yet another straight girl. (A feeling Kazuko wished on no girl.)

“I-- I’m--” Yuuki stammered out, and that snapped Kazuko out of her stupor long enough to respond.

“No, don’t-- I’m. I’d love to, I mean. Yeah,” she said, just as intellectually, taking Yuuki’s second flute, and following her around the gallery.

Soon it became very obvious neither one of them understood art very much, and as such they delighted in pointing out the silliest things on the painting, then discussing it in the most pedantic way possible. They were about six flutes in when Kazuko realized this was about the best date she’s had in a while, and they weren’t even in an actual date to begin with.

“Soooo, Kazuko,” Yuuki giggled, clearly a lightweight, “what’re you studying? You mentioned college.”

“I’m doing Criminal Science,” She answered, snickering, not in any place to comment on other people’s alcohol tolerance. “And you?”

“I’m doing Film. Hey.” Yuuki started.

“Hmm?”

“Together, we’re, conceptually, a crime series.”

They tried stifling the giggles at it, and objectively it wasn’t even a very good joke, but it was the funniest thing ever at that moment, seven champagne flutes in, sitting outside in a gallery’s courtyard with a pretty girl who was  _ so close. _

As soon as Yuuki’s face tilted up to look at Kazuko, she dived in, crashing their lips together awkwardly, then laughing at the stupidity of kissing someone without any warning, and then kissing properly, tangling their legs together and their hands busied with holding each other.

“Hey, I live nearby, wanna ditch here?”

Kazuko didn’t think she would ever call a Lyft drunk that fast and efficiently in her life.

 

* * *

 

**Kiki**   
I shouldn’t have bothered to tell y’all not to go to Yuriko’s gallery. It was fucking pointless, dads, tacchis and uncle katsus.

**Jun**   
What happened, lovebird?

**Kiki**   
I was… I don’t know what I was trying to accomplish, really.   
Dad, I know I asked this before, and I ask this a lot but.   
I know you like to sell me that ‘love at first sight’ thing but   
How did you even start dating?   
What did you do?   
How do you get someone’s attention like that on purpose for real without making them hate you in the process and now you’re wondering if they actually do hate you.

**Tatsuya**   
Do you need us there?

**Kiki**   
I’m okay, I think.   
Or I’ll be okay, anyway.   
You didn’t answer my question.

**Jun**   
We went to a concert of Eikichi’s band, met again backstage, got drunk making fun of Eikichi’s style, made out and the rest is history.   
I’m sorry, it’s not really a grand story.

**Kiki**   
Oh.

**Tatsuya**   
Kiki, it’s been ten minutes, are you okay?

**Kiki**   
I guess besides me fucking up royally, Kazuko had her shitty backstage kiss story while I was just.   
………   
Do you think I’m too slutty?

**Jun**   
No   
You have your moments where I wish you went slower, but no, baby.

**Tatsuya**   
Do you need me to call Aunt Lisa?

**Kiki**   
No   
Thanks   
I’ll just. Go to sleep, I guess   
Kazuko isn’t back yet.   
I’m worried.

**Jun**   
Are you okay? Do you have any friends with you?

**Kiki**   
I have Mona. He’s chilling on my back, purring like Tacchi’s bike.

**Jun**   
Anyone else? Do you need us to come over? Katsuya went to the drugstore to buy Benadryl if you need us to go.

**Kiki**   
No   
…   
Yes, please.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls be gentle  
> also pls kudos and comments on your way out, pls kind gentleppl


	3. Drunk Wars III: Revenge of the Vodquila

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it takes some questionable decisions for any communication to happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HA. HELLO. I'M SO SORRY KSDJFKJGHFJG
> 
> so it took me. a while. i'm not good at angst and thus it took me. too long, and then rent went up where i live and we're like. in the middle of a move rn, my life is in boxes.  
> so i'm rly rly sorry for this entire delay, i don't intend to lie again, but since we are DONE WITH ANGST AS PER THIS CHAPTER (mostly, but the next chapter won't be as angsty, since i plan on a happy ending), i hope i can post before brazilian carnival??????????? hopefully?????????
> 
> anyhow, pls accept my humble offering of A Trainwreck (TM)
> 
>  
> 
> EDIT CUZ I FORGOT BC TIRED NOODLE BRAIN: thank u so much my discord friends from our persona server, yall kept kicking me and leaving me the most hilarious comments on the doc i love yall and especial thanks to chaos entity vi, cocowo and cursed gremlin emma for everytime yall read and spotted a mistake in the thing. love yall. yall fucking superb fuckn little babies.

**Hackerman2000**   
hey, u ok?   
havnt seen u online lately

**irlstealyomanmeme**   
hhhhhhhhhhhhhh

**Hackerman2000**   
that gud huh   
im assumin u nailed the thot

**irlstealyomanmeme**   
no   
i didnt

**Hackerman2000**   
booooo   
weak

**irlstealyomanmeme**   
u kno who did tho

**Hackerman2000**   
oooohhh no tell me!!!!!!!!!   
:glassesglint:

**irlstealyomanmeme**   
u kno stronkestpotions?

**Hackerman2000**   
that lol player i thought was npc at 1st?

**irlstealyomanmeme**   
that bitch

**Hackerman2000**   
w o w   
she that pretty?

**irlstealyomanmeme**   
NO   
her legs are good ill give her that

**Hackerman2000**   
kiki das jealous

**irlstealyomanmeme**   
_ futaba _   
mishina yuuki is  _ not _ prettier than me   
makoto is not prettier than me   
the only people i kno who r prettier than me r Ann, whos a literal model, and Yuriko, who im not sure is a human being   
_ im not even bein conceited its a literal truth _

**Hackerman2000**   
uh huh   
not conceited   
want me 2 ask ur dads abt this

**irlstealyomanmeme**   
f u t a b a   
n o   
leave my parents out of this.

**Hackerman2000**   
kiki, i didnt wanna say this bc i am a n00b @ this whole ppl thing but   
this wouldnt have happend if u just opened ur mouth + told her u like her like romantically.

**irlstealyomanmeme**   
i dont kno how???????

**Hackerman2000**   
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
>:(   
u open ur mouth   
n say   
hey thot i wanna bang u n take u 2 dates in fancy ass cafes like the one i work at n do lovey dovey stuff w u n maybe a house w white fence n 2.5 kids.

**irlstealyomanmeme**   
but thats hard

**Hackerman2000**   
then perish alone, i guess.

**irlstealyomanmeme**   
i wont be alone i have mona

 

* * *

 

If Kazuko thought her night was good, her morning was definitely better, now that they didn’t have to stop every so often because of drunkenness.

Yuuki was very definitely a hands-on person, which Kazuko could relate, and definitely could appreciate as Yuuki’s hands tried to find purchase on any body part of Kazuko’s she could reach (mainly hair), as Kazuko licked lazy circles around her oversensitive clit, groping Yuuki’s obviously athletic thighs that were quivering around her head with one hand while the other toyed with a breast, squeezing and caressing as the other girl moaned helplessly.

A night that was definitely worth the walk of shame the following morning, as she rushed home to bathe and change so she could get to work less than one hour late. She looked at her phone as she idled away hiding from clients in less frequented aisles, texting Yuuki with what she supposed was a very stupid look on her face.

Her goofy smile was wiped off her face when she got home, though.

“Hey, Akira, I--” she started, and then paused as she noticed her roommate was nowhere in sight. “Akira?” She looked around, poking her head into the kitchen, in the bathroom and even outside, looking in the fire escape. All she found was Morgana, sitting on his designated shelf, munching on a chew toy she has never seen before. “Hey, Monamona,” Kazuko greeted, stretching out her hand to pet the cat, “where’s your human?”

Mona meowed pathetically at her.

“I’m asking because I have no idea, pal. Tell you what, I’m in the mood for sushi,” she said, and Morgana’s ears perked up in attention, “if you tell me where’s your human, I can slide some fatty tuna for you.”

Morgana yawned and laid back down to chew on his toy.

“I don’t know what I expected, honestly,” Kazuko muttered. She decided for checking into Akira’s bedroom as the best course of action, instead of asking a cat. “At least dogs go fetch their owners.”

The door was ajar, which was odd. She peeked inside, and there, finally, she found Akira.

“Hey, you awake?” No response. “Uh. Okay. Asleep. I think. Great. She’s home.”

Kazuko fidgeted, taking a deep breath and pulling on the ends of her twin tails.

 

* * *

 

**Hackerman2000**   
u alive

**irlstealyomanmeme**   
kazuko came home today and went out again   
left a little note even.   
_ img194875923 _

**Hackerman2000**   
that is so gross cute   
isnt she a grown ass 24 year old

**irlstealyomanmeme**   
25   
ikr who tf leaves dot heart notes besides pre-teens

**Hackerman2000**   
u say that but ur over there looking like npc girl betrayed u

**irlstealyomanmeme**   
yuuki is a rat bastard, but that’s on me, i told her ‘my crush will be there’ and neglected to show her the face of said crush   
UGH CANT EVEN TAKE THE BLAME OFF ME   
I’M SICK OF BEING THE ONE TO BLAME HERE   
Y CANT WE BLAME KAZUKO FOR NOT NOTICING THAT I WAS FLIRTING WITH HER

**Hackerman2000**   
asking haru 2 buy u sexy clothes isnt flirting   
they were using u   
i hacked ur unis records   
kazuko akechi right? Her grades slipped, makoto is top of class

**irlstealyomanmeme**   
i dont get why tho   
she has literally studied while i stretched in lululemon leggings and barely anything else

**Hackerman2000**   
oh u mean that day u complained she ran away mad 2 her bedroom bc u were distracting   
ye i dont think she studied much that day   
btw i think i kno ur probl wrt stronkestpotions stealing ur girl   
u rely so much on ur friends havin diverse interests u 4got all of us have 1 thing in common

**irlstealyomanmeme**   
pray tell futaba what is it

**Hackerman2000**   
im tellin ur parents u 4got all ur friends are bi/lesbians

**irlstealyomanmeme**   
S H I T U R I T E

 

* * *

 

Kazuko hadn’t had a single real walk of shame in a long while; you can’t properly call drunken frat party walks back home walks of shame if everyone is doing it, too. But today was a day she could call a walk of shame.

She had decided to take a page out of Akira’s playbook for her date with Yuuki, and let her hair loose, used darker colors in her makeup (not by much, just enough; the pinks more reddish and the browns more blackish, actual lipstick under the lip gloss, those kinda things), put on a dark lacy underwear set, chose a shorter skirt, a shirt with a deeper cleavage than usual. And then she scrapped the entire look and redid her makeup, buttoned up her sheer silk shirt, pulled the waistband of the skirt a little lower so she would be sure it was below mid-thigh, and kept the dark underwear as a concession. 

The date itself went alright. More than alright, because Yuuki looked as beautiful as the moon in the sky and practically glowed like it too.

“You look amazing,” Yuuki said, smiling, pulling on the ends of her hair.

“Thank you, so do you,” she said and it was the truth. Yuuki had some  _ legs _ on her, and had taken full advantage of it by choosing jeans shorts and an oversized cardigan over a flowery shirt.

“We have the same bracelet,” Yuuki pointed out, pulling on a cheap fake silver chain with flower pendants made of colored plastic.

“Oh, my god, we do! It was--”

“In the children’s section!” They said in unison, excitedly.

“My friend said it is childish, but what the hell does she know, she goes around town looking like a 90s reject,” Yuuki said, extending her hand to Kazuko. “Anyway, we should get going, the movie starts in ten minutes.”

It wasn’t like Kazuko at all, to watch superhero movies, but then again, if left to her own devices, Kazuko would only watch conceptual movies and anime live-actions. The movie was good though, and the makeout session in the dark of the cinema was excellent too, if a little interrupted due to Yuuki being an open-eye kisser and having seen the beginning of Eddie’s makeout with Venom.

“Why is it that everytime I accept watching a movie with someone, I finish it wanting to bleach my eyes out?” She whined, leaning onto Yuuki and hugging the other’s waist, pouting.

“What movies do you watch that a simple monster-fucking leaves you shocked?” Yuuki asked, laughing, letting herself be hugged.

“Not monster-fucking, that’s for sure.”

Kazuko got a peck on the lips and a nose boop for her troubles. Kazuko sulked a little at the treatment.

“Are you pouting, Kazu? Aww you are! That’s so cute!”

“Yuuki-chan, I’ll end you if you don’t stop laughing this instant,” she groused, with less bite than she intended, because the other girl’s hand was cupping her cheek.

“If we walk faster, you can have your revenge faster, Kazu.”

Kazuko’s revenge consisted of well placed kisses, and a quick butt grab in the empty elevator ride to Yuuki’s apartment, but she let Yuuki think her punishment for calling her righteous annoyance (she  _ was not _ pouting) was the bite marks on her shoulder and the hair pulling.

God’s punishment to Kazuko for thinking a casual relationship could ever work for her, apparently, was coming for her.

“What do you want, Yuuki?” Kazuko asked, licking the other girl’s neck, one hand cupping a breast while the other lazily caressed Yuuki’s clit, her legs held open by Kazuko’s. Yuuki’s hands grasped the bedsheets while she moaned softly into her pillow. “I can’t hear you like that, sweetheart.”

“Please let me come, Kazuko....” she trailed off, whining.

“Aw, you’re so sweet, Yuu-chan~,” Kazuko cooed, moving her fingers faster, using her free hand to caress the other’s throat. “You can come now, baby…”

It took Yuuki five seconds and a moan of the wrong name for her to come. Kazuko startled, shocked, for five seconds before anger bubbled up and she nearly propelled the other girl across the bed.

“What the fuck, Yuuki!”

Yuuki, for her part, was practically glowing red from embarrassment.

“I--” she stammered out, but Kazuko was on the warpath, collecting her things and getting dressed properly before sighing and attempting to control herself.

“No. I don’t care. I-- okay. I’m cool,” she said, but it sounded more like she was trying to convince herself not to flip off, acutely aware that she almost threw the other girl into the wall. “I’m going home. I think… I think I need space and… I’m glad this didn’t go too far before you slipped.” She was angry, and Yuuki might probably deserve it, but, she forced herself to remember, she was not her father, and as such she would refrain from using violence. She wouldn't assault someone then hide the evidence with money.

Instead, Kazuko chose to put on an indifferent front right up until she was out of Yuuki’s street. It was past midnight, and she was across the city from her apartment. She looked at her phone; it actually was 2AM, and while she could probably still find a bus, it was unlikely. Great.

“Ugh. Whatever,” she told herself. Taking shelter at a nearby 7-11, she opened the Lyft app, ready to call a ride home… and then she hesitated. Her recent addresses had her workplace, college, home, and a bar two blocks away from her apartment.

She pressed the bar’s address as destination. She was going to  _ forget _ this entire week in one fell gulp, hopefully of an unholy combo of tequila, vodka and rum, topped off with enough raspberry syrup that she could say  truthfully that she had no idea how she got so drunk. Alternate that, Windex shots and Pink Squirrels, and hopefully that would kill enough brain cells to put her in a coma. Or maybe in some stranger's bed who couldn't even pronounce her name despite it not being even that complicated.

  
  


**Kiki**   
RYUKO HELP

**Dragon with the Girl Tattoo**   
Ryuko is busy playing against Futaba in Overwatch, this is Yuriko, may I help you?

* * *

 

**Kiki**   
YURIKO HELP ME

**Girl with the Dragon Tattoo**   
What ails you, Akira?

**Kiki**   
KAZUKO WASNT SUPPOSED TO BE HOME SO I WAS NAKED AT HOME   
AND THEN SHE COMES IN DRUNK   
AND NOW IM HIDING IN THE BATHROOM

**Girl with the Dragon Tattoo**   
That sounds troubling.   
Why are you hiding in the bathroom exactly?

**Kiki**   
shes talkin nonsense abt fuckin me so i stop fuckin w her   
why is every1 so sure im a sex demon

**Girl with the Dragon Tattoo**   
Need I remind you, you have slept with every single one of your friends.   
You quoted “boredom” and “giving you the full dumb teenager experience” when you invited me to the debauchery lair you call a bedroom.

**Kiki**   
false, i havent diddled darned kazuko yet

**Girl with the Dragon Tattoo**   
Must you phrase it so?   
But if so, why aren’t you jumping onto the opportunity to correct this oversight?

**Kiki**   
shes drunk??????? off her ass??????   
im a slut but i have standards yuriko   
around my age, cute and at the same state of inebriation as me

**Girl with the Dragon Tattoo**   
You are never sober on the night before a free day, so I assumed.

**Kiki**   
fair   
but like im not im not even sure what kazus talkin abt   
i havnt done nthn lately

**Girl with the Dragon Tattoo**   
Yes, we all have been intimately privy to your thirsting after Kazuko.   
And to be frank, I am still upset you went to all the trouble of letting me paint you to desist just because Kazuko wasn’t looking at you.   
That was selfish of you.

**Kiki**   
im sorry, and i will apologize however many times you need me to for that.

**Girl with the Dragon Tattoo**   
I know. I was just pointing out that maybe this is divine retribution for your crimes against your friends.

**Kiki**   
i cant hear her nmore, is it safe yet

**Girl with the Dragon Tattoo**   
Cover yourself, run into your bedroom, get dressed, maybe?

**Kiki**   
yeah, maybe i shld   
ttyl gotta bolt

 

* * *

 

Kazuko felt like they had dropped her in the Sahara for a night and then teleported her back to her bedroom. Her mouth was sand, her blood was curdled, and her eyes were filled with the pus of a weary traveler’s foot.

Or so she felt, because, although she remembered the reasoning that led her to this moment, she didn’t remember the string of events that followed.

At least the pain was a welcome distraction from the stab in her heart. It wasn’t even that she was attached, but the principle of things. She was at least making an effort to pretend she wasn’t going out with Yuuki because she reminded her of Akira.

Talking about the devil, she apparently had the same day off as her, because she could hear someone humming and porcelain clinking on the kitchen counter’s fake marble.

She groaned and turned in her bed, looking at her bedside table, and finding out three gatorade bottles and a new-looking blister of ibuprofen, all sitting over a note, which read, “good morning beautiful! Don’t forget to drink your party nutrients and swallow your mana pills. Already called your manager, told her I found you passed out sick in the living room, half dressed to go to work, and she gave you three days of paid sick leave,” with a little heart at the end.

She didn’t have enough fucks in her to think it was suspicious, or to suspect that the ibuprofen could be tampered with, so she just opened a bottle and popped a pill, chugging the gatorade down as if she really had been in the desert for three days. She was about to start on the second one, when the door was opened, squeaking at the hinges and grating on her nerves.

“Kazuko? You awake?” The devil herself spoke, far too cheerful and loud for whatever hour in the morning it was.

“I’m murderous is what I am,” she muttered, burrito-ing herself in her blankets.

“Well, you tried to kill me last night, so it’s safe to say I know that,” Akira informed her, still far too gleeful. “Well, if you could keep your murdering to a minimum, my uncle is about to attempt suicide by cat and I need to stop him. Feel free to join us when you’re feeling more human than alcohol.” And then she slammed the door closed, making Kazuko cringe and tears well up in her eyes from the throbbing of her brain attempting to burst out and look for a new host to torture with daddy issues and anxiety.

Only after she had downed the second gatorade, did the fact they had a guest sink in.

“Great, I’ll probably have to be polite to him,” she grumbled, feeling annoyed and tired and probably more murderous by the minute.

She weighed the pros and cons of not getting up, ever, and her painfully growling stomach made up her mind for her. She needed food. She would have to face the guest if she wanted to appease her needs.

“Ah! Good afternoon, moon bloom!” Akira greeted as Kazuko was assaulted in her own home by sunlight, huddling further into her blanket cocoon and swallowing a cartoon-vampiresque hiss.

“Fuck off, Akira, or I’ll murder you for real,” was what she hissed instead, and unfortunately their guest heard, leaving Kazuko to wish her cocoon would liquefy and swallow her like it would a caterpillar.

“Please refrain from murdering my niece, I’m rather fond of her despite her thieving ways,” the man said and Kazuko wanted to die, because it was none other than Suou Katsuya, the arson detective who was a guest in her Autopsy class, on a lecture about determining whether the corpse had died before or after the fire started. “Oh, I remember you. The butane-suffocation-arson girl.”

She took a deep breath and tried not to freak out too much.  _ He’s a detective, he’s probably suspicious of you for something on his job that happened and your question was memorable. _ Don’t freak out.  _ He thinks you did something. _ Do. not. Freak. Out. Because you didn’t do anything.  _ He can probably smell your anxiety. _

“Yeah, haaaa… I’m sorry about that one, the teacher requires us to think like a criminal and I got too far in character,” she apologized, praying to god she wasn’t white as a sheet and shaking in her fuzzy slippers.

“Oh, chill out, Kazu, Uncle Katsu is a big softie. I mean,” Akira said, winking, “he hasn’t arrested me yet.”

Katsuya-san looked at his niece in the fakest annoyance glare she’s ever seen in her life.

“You’re on thin ice, little lady, and only because I don’t think they accept ‘I know this MO’ as viable evidence of who stole those mats in your room from the university’s gym,” he grumbled.

“They still haven’t gotten back to me on who stole my expensive yoga mat!” Akira complained.

“Back up,” Kazuko shook her head, disbelieving, “you stole those mats from the university because someone stole your yoga mat?”

“It was a gift from my mom’s family!” She defended herself. “They went to all the trouble to send it to me for my eighteenth birthday, because shipping anything out of Latin America here is a pain and the New York store wouldn’t get it for another  _ year _ , and then some asshole stole it! And then I complain to the university and they have no idea where a baby pink Melissa brand yoga mat could be, even though there’s cameras all around the gym! Of course I took their cheap ass mats.”

“Kurosu Akira, what did I tell you about admitting to crimes in front of me?”

“To not do it?” Akira said, smiling winningly.

Kazuko put her phone to her ear, deadpan.

“Hello officer, I’d like to turn in my roommate for the theft of gym equipment from her college.”

“Kazu, no!” Akira screeched, toppling over the couch and tripping over Morgana, just to take Kazuko’s phone from her.

“Wow, guilty, aren't we.” Kazuko said, keeping her phone out of Akira’s reach by using the few inches she had on the other girl. “Relax, I wasn't calling anyone except an Arcanine,” she flashed the screen at the other woman, who could barely hide her annoyance.

“You’re so incredibly mean, I hope you know that,” Akira said, pouting, turning around to save Morgana from her uncle, who looked about ready to put his face to Mona’s soft belly. “Uncle Katsu, no, they’ll accuse me of murder!”

“It’s not your MO, you’re fine,” they heard him say, muffled from Mona’s belly on his face.

This scene was so domestic, and the entire idea that she could have this was enticing. She didn’t know if she wanted to  _ be _ Akira, or be  _ with _ her.  _ Akira doesn’t really like you _ , a voice in her mind that sounded suspiciously like her father said,  _ she’s just being polite because she has to share the apartment with you _ . Anger swelled again, and she threw the gatorade bottle in the trash with more anger than it warranted, considering it  _ had _ diminished her headache and body pain a little.

She grabbed a cup from the cupboard and turned on her electric kettle, anything to get her mind off the intrusive thoughts. Of course logic dictated they weren’t really friends, they had lived together for barely a month, and while it was true you could become friends quickly and that they  _ had _ clicked, they also were now very awkwardly tip-toeing around each other. She needed to take this aggression out of the house, and preferably on someone.

“I’m going down the street tonight to start a bar fight, wanna come?” She asked Akira, tone light and joking masking her actual intent of doing just that.

“No, I'll leave you to that. I'm not much use in a fight,” Akira straight up lied in the presence of a future detective and an actual police detective who's known her since she was 4, both knowing she was full of shit.

“If you say so. I'm not much for fighting, but I do enjoy causing a fight.”

“This is abusing the knowledge this is not my jurisdiction,” Suou-san said, pulling up a Benadryl inhaler.

Kazuko was suddenly keenly aware that her night plans actually involved starting a bar fight across the city to get her mind off her miserable love life.

“Haaaaaaaaaaa-- I’m not actually planning on that,” she said awkwardly, nursing a cup of matcha tea she made on autopilot, cringing at how much like a lie it sounded.  _ Bitch, you lie better than this, you  _ should  _ lie better than this. _

“You're on  _ vacation _ , Uncle Katsu, no arresting my roomie for her crimes against humanity.” Akira sounded chastising, but this was coming from a serial gym mat thief, so it lost all seriousness from the get-go.

 

* * *

 

**Girl with the Dragon Tattoo**   
Ryuko tells me she had to kick Kazuko-san from the club she works as a bouncer, did she get home alright?

**Kiki**   
FKN   
she just got here yuriko save meeeee   
shes drunk af again shit she got a bloody nose and she will be unbearable once she notices her shirt is ripped

**Girl with the Dragon Tattoo**   
My condolences.   
Do you still prevail against the hordes of horny roommate, Akira?

**Kiki**   
shes not threatenin to fuck me???? She just flopped on me on the couch and started cryin a lot. its kinda pathetic tbh

**Girl with the Dragon Tattoo**   
Oh my. What will you do?

**Kiki**   
well im typin w the only hand left i have, shes just crying on me sth bad

**Girl with the Dragon Tattoo**   
Oh my.   
Do you need any assistance?

**Kiki**   
nah im fine   
this is better than when she was angry horny drunk so im cool   
NOT COOL ANYMORE

**Girl with the Dragon Tattoo**   
Oh? :3c

**Kiki**   
SHES PUTTN HER HANDS IN MY SHIR T CRYIN BC NO ONE THINKS SHES HOT ANYMORE I COULD USE SUM HEPL   
also who taught you that emote i wanna bash their head in

**Girl with the Dragon Tattoo**   
Who taught me, she asks, as if all of my friends don’t use emojis on a regular basis.   
I could call Makoto, seeing as she has a motorbike and would get there faster despite living farther away, but I think you are in good, caring hands.

**Kiki**   
Y U R I K O H L E P

 

* * *

 

For the second day in a row, Kazuko woke up with moth balls in her mouth, dust bunnies in her head, and an incredible pain in her entire body, and for the second day in a row, there was a cutesy note on her nightstand with gatorade bottles and painkillers. The note this time read, “I left you some food in the fridge, and there’s some ice coffee for you in there too”, with a small heart again. 

Ugh.

She lifted her phone to see a message from her manager, which made her sit up in bed, immediately regret doing so, and chug an entire bottle of gatorade with one ibuprofen pill and be halfway dressed before she actually read the message, which read, “have you gone to the doctor? Get well soon!”

“Oh yeah,” she said, as Morgana peeked his head in her room to see what the commotion was. “I’m on sick leave.”

Kazuko looked at her manager’s message, and typed out, “I’m sorry about yesterday, turns out I’m severely allergic to this plant my new roommate owns, and had to find out the hard way.” Yes, this was a good, easy lie. Akira owns so many plants, one picture of their living room would validate her, and if someone asks ‘which one’, she can say they gave it back to Akira’s father. Perfect. Her manager texted her some get well meme, and that was that.

Looking around, she realized she had nothing to do the entire day. This was supposed to be a full-time day, with a date night following, but she had no date and no work to distract her from how acutely she felt the fact she was lonely. Makoto was probably in class, she didn’t feel like playing MapleStory all day, and the prospect of walking around aimlessly the entire day was both unappealing and utterly sad. Kazuko pulled up her phone again and looked at the hour. It was barely midday.

She dragged her feet to the kitchen, not quite as assaulted by the sunlight today as she was yesterday because either her tolerance levelled up, or she drank less. There was a beautiful omurice plate waiting for her, all decorated and Kazuko could cry. Why was Akira putting so much effort on something for her, she didn’t even  _ like _ her back (or by all means she shouldn’t like her).

As the plate swirled around in the microwave, it left her with the longest minute of her life. She started out linking and unlinking her fingers, until a bracelet claimed her attention, and something on her wrist made her stare. There were no marks, but she still looked for them until the microwave pinged loudly, beeping until she took out her food.

She was awake for barely one hour and was already losing it over the prospect of doing nothing all day.

As she licked the spoon, a thought formed in her head. It was shameful, and probably proof she wasn’t fully sober yet but…

 

* * *

 

**PLEASE bite my tits**   
Hey, whats the best same-day delivery online sex shop you know?

**Kiki**   
uh who r u n wat did u do to kazu

**PLEASE bite my tits**   
Just answer me im bored beyond belief bc guess what.   
I dont have any friends except you and makoto, and i guess my job.   
Send me the link, now. I know you know a store.

**Kiki**   
wow bossy   
das hot   
just use amazon, i kno u have amazon prime

**PLEASE bite my tits**   
I GUESS……………...   
I didnt wanna use the amazon account i share with my mother for this.

**Kiki**   
u a smart u can do it   
i could lend you my account if ur so scared of ur mom finding out u like ur metime spicy

**PLEASE bite my tits**   
Ill use your history as recs.

 

* * *

 

**Kiki**   
[Screenshot.jpg]   
there i acted like a normal person  _ i guess _ .

**Dragon with the Girl Tattoo**   
look @ u bein a functional person pretendin u can flirt   
tho y is she askin bout sex toys of all things

**Kiki**   
she bored   
it’s what she told me anyway.

**Dragon with the Girl Tattoo**   
didnt she lik   
call u a basic bitch bc u had sex toys

**Kiki**   
_ yes _   
the irony isnt lost on me

 

* * *

 

Kazuko _ did _ end up playing MapleStory for a while, waiting on her delivery. It took almost two hours, but she thought it rude to the delivery p ,kderson to yell at them for it.

“I’m so sorry, there was a roadblock because of an accident on the suggested path,” the man said, apologizing profusely.

“It’s no biggie.” It was a biggie, and she told herself repeatedly the man had  _ nothing _ to do with the whims of people crashing vehicles on the street. “Thank you for being as swift as possible.” She all but slammed the door on the delivery man, rushing to her bedroom with her shameful loot.

She made a whole ritual out of unboxing and getting ready to use the machine. Rip the box open, open the box, read the instructions, test the settings, find out it needs a charge. It was around 3:45 PM when she finally got around to the part she wanted to get: seeing if it was as good as the double order to Makoto’s old address made it seem.

“It  _ is _ waterproof,” she argued with herself, eyeing a bath bomb she bought earlier in the week and a sample bath rose oil she got in her makeup order. She looked at Morgana, who had perched himself with a tasty  jerky mouse toy Suou-san brought him. “I mean, your human would probably not care if I was masturbating in the tub when she got home, right? It's the same logic of our rooms.”

Morgana, predictably, didn't answer her.

It was another fifteen minutes to fill the tub with hot enough water. The bath bomb was full of glitter and pastel pink, which improved her mood significantly after an afternoon of real money twinks showing off in MapleStory, and her phone was fully charged (did it count when it was wirelessly charged from the emitter in her bedroom?), so she felt ready.

“Let's see what's so good about  _ plastic _ ,” she muttered, fully aware it was rubber.

Her problems seemed to melt away in the water, the comforting smell of orange blossoms hugging her like a familiar blanket, promising no worries and a soak free of anxiety. Now, she thought, propping her phone up on the retractable holder onto the tub tray, for some entertainment.

Five lines into the shitty erotica, though, her mind wandered. She just couldn't stop her own imagination from wandering to Akira. It was hard not to when  _ she _ was the one who Yuuki, and herself for that matter, were imagining in bed those two days. Kazuko’s mind went unbidden to the interrupted dream she had that first day. Those eyes, which seemed to always glint with amusement, the smirk on her face and how her skin felt on hers. She tried to forget all Akira-related wet dreams as soon as she woke up, but that one stuck and refused to leave.

_ Fine. _ If her own brain was going to be like that, she was going to play along.

She imagined turning the tables on imaginary-Akira, pinning her to the bed and telling the other, “if you eat me out satisfactorily, I'll  _ think _ about returning the favor”, and scooting up to sit on her face.

Kazuko pushed the tray to the end of the tub, grabbing the toy and placing it just touching her labia. Her breath hitched at the unfamiliar feeling, and she felt it wise to just ride that feeling as far as it would take her. She rubbed the toy's tip against her clit, finding the feeling not entirely disagreeable. It was simply weird; she sorta saw what the hype about toys were. She still thought her hand was better.

Sighing, she clicked it on, and yelped at the weird, unfamiliar sensation of having sat on a cell phone on vibrate. It was pleasurable enough, and soon she found herself actually wanting to rut into the toy, and she bumped the vibration up a notch.

A pathetic whine left her mouth as she imagined Akira looming over her, mouthing at her breasts, Akira’s hand pushing the plastic dick inside her, making her keen and writhe.

“Akira...” She accidentally let the name out, trembling.

She got impatient.

The unfamiliarity was getting in the way of her pleasure, right now, she decided, and she took matters in her own hands. Putting the toy back on the tray, she kneeled in the tub, sticking to the fantasy of Akira eating her out, fingers circling her entrance, and then running over her clit, teasing as her pleasure built up. Kazuko picked up her pace, rubbing faster, imagining Akira licking up her wetness, moaning like it was the finest of wines in her mouth, both hands on her thighs as Kazuko took pity and leaned backwards, imagining grinding her cunt on the other's face while sliding a finger inside her.

As she came, she ungraciously lost her balance as her legs wavered under her, and she yelped, slipping on the tub’s floor and splashing pink water everywhere. To her eternal shame, Akira had arrived home earlier than usual, and she surfaced from her scalding hot pastel pink humiliation to look at a worried Akira at the bathroom door, eyes wide and still wearing her shoes.

“Ah,” was all she managed to say, unconsciously, maybe futilely covering her breasts.

“Uh,” Akira said, just as eloquently.

“I’m okay,” she lied. She was most definitely  _ not _ okay. On her way down she had bumped her legs and her head, and nicked the very end of her tongue on her teeth when she hit her head.

“You sure? I heard something hitting something, it’s why I came running.”

Kazuko felt okay. Mostly. She was embarrassed, slightly humiliated and still a little horny, but nothing felt off.

“I might’ve bitten my tongue? Does that count?”

Akira rolled her eyes, leaning on the doorframe and kicking her boots off.

“Well. Is it bleeding too badly?”

Kazuko didn’t know what came over her, to say what she did,  otger than she was somehow still drunk. She felt the embarrassment as the words rose in her mouth, and she closed her eyes as the words formed, so as to not see the damage she caused.

“Why, do you wanna kiss it better?”

Akira choked on her spit, or so Kazuko thought, because her eyes were still closed and her soul was slowly slipping away from her body as she slinked down into her bath water, hoping the water opened up to another dimension in which  _ hopefully _ she had any people skills and probably some more charisma so she could say things like this without wanting to die.

No, not die;  _ take an extended nap. _ Like, a nap that took approximately 80 years, as the average lifespan of a Japanese woman was encroaching the 100 years. Yeah, that sounded reasonable. Just put her in a medically induced coma for the next 80 years.

Gods should just strike her down for what just transpired as she lay there, naked, in her bathtub, embarrassing herself in front of her hot roommate.

She was only submerged for about 30 seconds, when Akira knocked on the tub, and she was forced to both resurface and face the consequences of her actions.

“You didn’t answer my messages earlier, so I had actually just came home to ask what did you want from the market. Is two bottles of strong alcohol okay?”

_ Akira was so fucking perfect _ , Kazuko thought, sighing and nodding, once more submerging herself in pink, glittery water to hide her rapidly reddening face. She could hear Akira’s awkward laughter through the distortion of the water, and both regretted and not having done so.

 

* * *

 

**irlstealyomanmeme**   
taba, she asked if i wanted to kiss her tongue better im

**Hackerman2000**   
i leave u alon 4 5s n this happns   
did u kiss the gril

**irlstealyomanmeme**   
no

**Hackerman2000**   
:/

**irlstealyomanmeme**   
she was like   
naked in the tub   
also i found out wat had her down this week   
remember yuuki

**Hackerman2000**   
:grabspopcorn:

**irlstealyomanmeme**   
so on my lunch break i go to uncle kichi’s sushi place bc he offered me free leftovers   
and yuuki is there, moping   
and i ask her what up did u get that nice R-rated hug this week   
and yuuki goes i accidentally said  _ ur _ name bc im used to u bein the only 1 with low enough standards to fuck me   
and im laughing so hard she throws my free leftovers on my face   
im only now processing that she insulted me

**Hackerman2000** ****  
tbh ur standards   
are nonexistent   
i mean   
u did hit on ur old babysitter   
whats his name   
narukami?

**irlstealyomanmeme**   
**_SORRY I WAS 18 AND MY HOE SELF_ **   
plus once he ditched the damn bowlcut he got hot. don’t @ me

**Hackerman2000**   
i doubt this statement.

**irlstealyomanmeme**   
anyhow kazu was mad yuuki said my name midsex   
explains y she asked y no 1 thought she hot nmore

**Hackerman2000**   
wygd abt that kiss request tho   
*it’s npc given u gotta *

**irlstealyomanmeme**   
im @ the liquor store rn we gon get turnt bc apparently were both emotionally constipated

**Hackerman2000**   
there’s no way in hell this plan will end up well.

 

* * *

 

She had put on some flimsy silky camisole by the time Akira  got back with their groceries, and Kazuko had to admit, Akira had excellent taste in drinks. Her liver would disagree, but Vodquila? What a find.

“This was on sale? Please tell me you brought more than one bottle,” she asked, eyes glittering.

“What kinda roommate would I be if I didn’t?” Akira asked, smiling proudly holding up two more bottles of the unholy concoction.

“A good, caring one, probably,” Kazuko snarked back, smiling too.

“In my experience, good, caring roommates prod far too much into your life with that well-meaning invasion of privacy.” Akira paused in her pulling up some three boxes of frozen chicken nuggets Kazuko was sure were meant for kids, with their dinosaur shapes. “Oh, and don’t forget lectures about eating and drinking habits.”

“Oh, so dinner today is chicken nuggets? How nice.”

“Don’t diss the dinosaurs, they’re actually better for your health than regular bulk nuggets.” Akira was heating up a deep-fryer her dads gave her, so Kazuko somewhat doubted they would be healthier.

“Dinosaur nuggets and vodquila, how are you still single,” Kazuko said with all the sarcasm she could muster.

Akira didn’t laugh.

Kazuko grabbed a bottle and poured herself a shot in the nearest cup, which happened to be a regular water glass, and knocked it down. So far, this night was going splendidly, she thought, caustically.

Vodquila was…  _ strong _ . She didn’t feel it at first because she was distraught and mildly panicking, but when the drink settled in her stomach, the burning characteristic of distilled drinks seared through her airways when she exhaled, making her cough, folding over and gripping at the counter.

“Are you okay? How bad was it?” Akira asked, dumping an entire bag of nuggets into the fryer.

“Bad. Holy  _ shit _ , this is strong.” She headed for the fridge, rummaging at the bottom, into the unused vegetable drawer. “Time to break out Amnesia and Formatting, as I call my raspberry and grape syrups.”

“Ew. If I wanted alcoholic grape, I would’ve bought wine; be respectful to the vodquila, Kazu,” Akira said, her eyes never leaving the sizzling nuggets.

“Gosh, you’re right,” Kazuko said, putting back the grape syrup. “Gotta save a bottle, anyhow. I’m a bitter bitch, someone might need to use some syrup to eat me out.”

Akira, who was drinking a shot of vodquila, choked on her drink and sputtered, eyes wide, looking at Kazuko in shock.

“What?” She managed out, a single tear making its way down her face, tracking down a bit of her heavy eyeliner.

Kazuko was in shock she said that, too, but now she had already put her foot in her mouth thoroughly. She sighed, and steeled herself for what she would say next, already feeling a little lightheaded.

“You heard me.”

The other girl wiped her face, still wheezing a little, and obviously decided to ignore what Kazuko said in favor of getting the nuggets out, probably in hopes Kazuko would stop saying those things.

Kazuko poured herself half a glass of vodquila, before putting another half glass of raspberry syrup in it and using a finger to mix it, absently.

She downed the entire cup before continuing her speech, which obviously marked her downfall into thirst-town.

“Gotta be like a lesbian flytrap.” Her mind suddenly got an idea,  and so she put some raspberry syrup on her fingers. “Hey Akira.”

“What?” She turned around, saw the pink, thick liquid on the other’s finger and visibly braced herself, one arm extending over the countertop between kitchen and living room to offer the nuggets like a sacrifice to an unstable goddess.

“Come here, suck on my fingers, I promise it’s not a trap to get you horny and into my bed,” she joked, speaking nasally, making the ugliest face she managed, crossing her eyes and pretending an overbite.

Akira snorted, shaking her head, but still very red in the face.

“The lesbian fly-trap produces horny-juice, which smells like fruit syrup, sugary sweet to call over unsuspecting women-loving women for sex and eat them out whole,” she recited in a deep voice paired with a fake-british accent.

“Cooome to my beeeeeed,” she continued, making come-hither motions with her sticky hand, and then paused to try and lick some of the syrup off. Akira visibly tried to look anywhere  _ but _ at her. “ Jeez, is this how people feel when they leave jizz in their hands for too long?”

“I wouldn’t know.” Akira dumped another nugget bag into the sizzling oil. “Only ever did anything with dicks with condoms.”

“Anyway, I don’t get it, though.” She started mixing vodquila and syrup again. Her whole body felt on fire and she was pretty sure she now understood why people called her a lightweight. “What do you have that I don’t?!” She slammed her hands on the stone counter, angrily, pain flaring up from her wrists. “Ow.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Akira poured some straight vodquila and downed it, probably sensing she would need to wipe this entire conversation from memory too.

“Yuuki! What did you do that I was just… Just a  _ replacement _ to her?!”

Akira turned off the deep-fryer, put away the third bag and took out the last nuggets, putting them on another plate before sitting down, pouring herself more alcohol and sighing.

“Apparently fucked all my friends.”

Kazuko’s train of thought pulled the brakes, went off rails and exploded like in a western.

“All of them?” she asked, and Akira nodded. “Every single one of them?”

“Yes. Even attempted to fuck my once-babysitter.”

She picked at a nugget, biting into it and mulling what was said slowly, and she heard Akira let out a sigh, following her lead.

“Hey, what are we?”

Akira stopped mid bite to stare in confusion at Kazuko.

“What do you mean?”

“What am I to you?” She asked and Akira mulled it over for a second, eyes narrowing, as if sensing a trap but don’t knowing what is the trap.

“Well, you’re my roomie, of course,” she answered diplomatically, trying to see what Kazuko’s trap was. There was no trap.

“No, I mean, do you even  _ like _ me, am I actually your friend, or has this devolved into some rooming of convenience where we barely  _ just _ tolerate each other?”

“How the fuck do you even keep your big words this drunk…” Akira gulped down some more of her drink. “I guess I do? I mean, I like to consider us friends…?” She said, uncertain.

“ _ Then why haven’t you fucked ME already? _ ” she screeched, anger coming from some depths of her being suddenly. “It’s just simple logic, do you actually hate me and isn’t saying it because you think I’ll throw you out?”

“That’s not it!” Akira tried to defend herself. 

“Then what is it? Am I too stuck up for you?” She asked, bitter, grabbing the bottle and drinking straight from it.

“No!” Akira took the bottle from her, and paused a little before sighing and taking a swig from the bottle herself.

“Too gross? Are you afraid of  _ cooties _ ?” Kazuko grabbed the bottle back and took a swig.

“I literally just drank from a bottle you drank from!” Akira grabbed the bottle back and took another swig.

“You never sit on the same side of the table as me!” She accused childishly and took the bottle back.

“I sit beside you on the couch all the time!” Akira replied, swiping the bottle and grabbing her chair violently, dragging it to sit beside Kazuko, pointedly turning her entire body towards the other girl and drinking some more.

“Now, isn’t that passive aggressive! I knew you hated me!” Kazuko snatched the bottle, near tears, head too fuzzy to remember why they were fighting in the first place. But Akira was yelling back instead of cowering and that was really hot.  

“I don’t hate you! For fuck’s sake Kazuko, it’s a side on the table!” Akira took it back, swaying a little on her seat, face red and eyes slightly unfocused.

“What do you call this, then?”

“Oh my god, Kazuko, eat your nuggets and stop thinking! You’re drunk, you’re supposed to think less!”

The uneasy truce lasted all of ten seconds.

“Alright,” she started and Akira groaned, “but what is so repulsive about me? You lied, you said you fucked all your friends but if I’m your friend, you clearly didn’t!” Kazuko was red in the face, and tears were running down, but her newfound anger drove her now, picking at straws of her own insecurities.

“Nothing! I don’t think you’re repulsive!” Akira deflected, sighing. She shook the bottle, and it had one sip left, which she took.

“Then what is it!? First we’re like. We  _ were _ flirting, right? It was fun, and kinda domestic, I liked that,” she said, swirling the dregs of her syrupy vodquila. “And then, I think you were seeing someone? But that’s okay, you were happy. Kinda hurt, but you were happy.”

“Kazu…”

“And then you straight up avoided me when I started going out with Yuuki, and then Yuuki was still hung up on you? And I don’t know what’s going on anymore, so like. Make sense of this, please.”

“Make sense…  _ What? _ ” Akira looked dazed. “You want me to think when I have like, half this bottle’s content in me?”

“Yes. Please,” she begged, tears welling in her eyes again. “I can’t tell if it’s still culture shock or if you’re just objectively a terrible person, but please, help me understand what’s going on.”

Kazuko hated that she was crying, but she couldn’t stop the tears. She just kept crying, pathetically and really uglily, and not even the knowledge she was ruining her makeup could stop her.

“I mean, I wasn’t seeing anyone these whole two months. If that clears up anything?”

Kazuko turned to her, eyes still pouring down, still furious and confused.

“No.”

“Ugh. I can’t believe I’m following advice from a hikikomori.” Akira grumbled, and grabbed Kazuko’s shoulders to bodily turn Kazuko to her. “Hey thot, I wanna bang you, and take you to dates in fancy ass cafes, like the one I work at, and do lovey dovey stuff with you, and maybe a house with a white fence and 2.5 kids.” She recited, like she’s been practicing it a lot in front of the mirror, until it lost all its naturality and the words lost their meaning.

“Hm. Wha-- I’m. What?” Kazuko said eloquently, trying to find enough alive brain cells to rub together and make sense of what just happened. Did she…?

“Please don’t make me repeat myself.” Akira groaned, running her fingers through her unruly locks and pressing her face on the stone surface of the table counter.

“I’m currently more alcohol than human, I’m afraid I’m hallucinating.”

“You’re making this more difficult than it has to be on purpose, aren’t you?”

“Mayhaps.”

“I hate you.”

“It’s not what I hallucinated you saying.”

“You’re so annoying.”

“You  _ like _ me,” Kazuko taunted, sniffing exceedingly uglily and cracking a teary smile.

“Your only redeeming quality is your face.”

“You think I'm  _ hooooooot _ \-- hmpf!”

Kazuko’s annoying crusade was interrupted by Akira yanking her closer and kissing her, messy and kinda gross, with the alcohol smell and the snot and runny mascara. Still, at that moment, Kazuko couldn't care less; Akira was kissing her and suddenly the planet could've exploded and she wouldn't notice it.

Breaking the kiss, Kazuko got up, grabbing Akira’s hand and dragging her to the nearest bedroom. She kicked Akira’s door open, and shoved the other woman inside, while Morgana fled the room in a hurry. Akira hit the bedframe and sat down, and Kazuko took the opportunity to climb on the other's lap, leaning in for a bruising kiss and making them both lose their balance, falling onto the bed and giggling like madwomen.

 

* * *

 

**Kiki**   
S O S I WOKE UP NAKED IN BED WITH KAZUKO WITH A HANGOVER AND NO MEMORY OF YESTERDAY BEYOND GETTING BACK HOME FROM THE GROCERY STORE

**stronkestpotions**   
u revive this groupchat for this?   
i mean valid but

**Kiki**   
can it yuuki   
this is serious

**Dragon with the Girl Tattoo**   
i mean u finally slept with ALL ur friends!! progress!

**Makoto**   
Did you at least wait until she was awake to run away in a panic?

**Kiki**   
makooooo stahp   
i see wat ur doin and raise u no

**stronkestpotions**   
kiki found dead in miami

**Kiki**   
shut ittttttt   
mako just wants to know bc she's worried about bein first in class

**Makoto**   
actually dear Kiki

**Dragon with the Girl Tattoo**   
makotos been typin 4 4ever   
f

**Makoto**   
I'm asking because you left her alone in your bed, hungover, probably very sore and severely bitten and looking like roadkill, to deal alone with the questions in her head.   
Kazuko has anxiety and rejection sensitive dysphoria. She's probably right now wondering what happened, probably feeling rejected too, wondering what she did wrong.

**Kiki**   
i had to go to work! And I left a note!   
i hope it's enough?

**Makoto**   
HOLD THE FUCK UP OH MY GOOOOOOOOD

**Dragon with the Girl Tattoo**   
!!!!!!   
makoto swears!

**Kiki**   
tf makoto

**Makoto**   
I cannOT BELIEVE MY EYES   
Thank you for being your unbelievably disastrous, mildly alcoholic selves, you and Kazuko

**Kiki** **  
** ??????????

**Makoto**   
I haven’t seen Kazuko THIS FUCKED UP since I dated her

**Ann-chan**   
YOU WHAT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank yall so much for sticking with me aksjdfhk this is a mess.  
> anyhow, this chapter is what a friend of mine lovingly calls "a situation where you never should've mistaken alcohol for lube", by which she means ppl should stop drinking when they want to talk to their crushes.
> 
> pls comments and kudos are v much appreciated!!! concrits are accepted even this late in the game <3


	4. This is why we had emo music in the early 2000s.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talkiing about feelings is hard.
> 
> last time on here:  
> Kazuko and Akira drank a fuckton, and they did the diddly darn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey im not dead.
> 
> and brazilian carnival was last month. oops.  
> don't judge me or this chapter too hard, i got.......... distracted, my husband bought me the new ASOIAF-related book, i decided to reread all ASOIAF books then, i buried myself in the ASOIAF fandom tag.................. then GOT started and i had to slap myself after the second ep like. bitch finish your prior engagements before starting a six-document sprawling massive AU undertaking  
> and so i finished this aldsjfdg
> 
> pls accept

Kazuko woke up disoriented and dizzy. Mostly because she was pretty sure her bed didn’t smell like cinnamon and coffee.

She sat up, squinting at the sun shining straight on her face and the weight on her legs.

“This ain’t my room,” she grumbled, trying to shield herself from the assault the light was waging on her eyes.

Mona meowed at her, so at least that meant she was still inside her apartment. Her head was pounding, but not as bad as yesterday or the day before. Akira had left her yet another cutesy message.

“Had to run to work, there's ibuprofen in the box on my vanity and gatorade in the fridge. Don't freak out when you wake up,” signed with a heart and her name.

Ugh, she was so cute.

Kazuko was still slightly drunk.

She stared at the red and black cotton sheets she was nestled in, with a chaotic, eye-straining star-line pattern, and felt the too-soft pillows behind her. Her soreness, now that she righted herself, seemed to focus on her hips and neck, and some straining on her mouth and fingers. Putting her hand on her forehead to block the light and ease her mounting headache, she tried to think why she felt so sore. Her mind was completely blank, which was fitting, considering the last thing she remembers clearly is Akira bringing home three bottles of Vodquila.

She heard her class alarm ringing from across the apartment, and sighed, getting up to find herself standing in Akira’s inordinately cold room wearing absolutely anything. The screech she let out was perfectly human and not at all leaning into what only cats and dogs could hear.

Kazuko still had no memory of what transpired last night, but judging by where she woke up and her state of undressing, coupled with her being able to see after she bathed that her neck was an almost singular bruise, and there were similar, bite-shaped marks on her breasts and hips and even some finger-shaped ones, it didn’t take a genius detective to figure out what happened.

Running towards her room to get her alarm turned off, she dressed up quickly and shoved her class things in the first bag she saw, dressed in the first things she saw and almost forgot her shoes while bolting out the door with a mirror and her emergency beauty bag.

If she hoped to pass by the campus without being noticed, she was out of luck. Her face reddened as she noticed more and more people were looking at her with surprised eyes, and she rushed to the bathroom of the Law building, where a few girls took one look at her and giggled, leaving her alone with some ridiculously bright lighting and wall to wall mirrors.

The mirrors weren’t kind to her.

Her clothes matching somewhat wasn’t due to any thought put to them, but rather Kazuko’s almost set-in-stone color palette and preference for three specific types of shirts and two even more specific types of bottoms. Her shirt, however, wasn’t nowhere near the same dress code as her shorts, which in turn, didn’t fit her shoes, if only due to the fact those weren’t even  _ hers _ , not to mention the cardigan shouldn’t go with the shirt. Kazuko was wearing a stern black dress shirt with golden buttons, bubblegum pink strawberry milk embroidered Chuu high-waisted shorts, Akira’s combat boots with thigh-high baby blue Pikachu socks, and a mint, fluffy, oversized Nile Perch cardigan, paired with her old  _ Apollo Justice ita bag _ and some impressive hickeys and eyebags, and she wanted to die.

“So, are girlfriend shoes the next big lesbian thing?” A voice asked from her left, startling her and making her drop her emergency makeup bag on the floor. She turned, and found Makoto standing by the door with a shit-eating grin on her face.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Kazuko answered, with as much dignity as she could, crouching down to pick up her things.

“Kazuko, you look like your wardrobe chewed you up and spit you out. And I’m pretty sure those are Akira’s boots.”

“They are. I was in a hurry and they were closer to the door, apparently.”

Makoto mercifully let that sit for a bit while she spread out her makeup and brushes and some emergency jewelry. She was starting on her moisturizer when Makoto decided she was silent long enough.

“So, what happened? Besides Akira’s atrocious living habits.”

“If I tell you I have no idea because that menace brought three bottles of Vodquila home and that the last thing I remember was putting raspberry syrup on my hand for a joke, will you leave it alone?” She pleaded.

“Three-- what? You two put away  _ three _ bottles of a vodka and tequila cocktail?!” Makoto stared at her in horror, visibly torn between the urge to shake her by the shoulders and the desire to not touch Kazuko ever again. “How are you not dead?!”

“Well,” Kazuko started, patting on the last of her primer before picking up her foundation and pressing the cushion a little to make sure it didn’t dry off. “For starters, we didn’t drink three bottles, just one of them.”

“ _ Still _ . I wanna say that was Akira rubbing off on you, but god only knows how many times I had to scrape you off the floor at parties.”

“And I’m very grateful for each and every one of those times, Mako-chan,” she winked at the other, face slightly blotchy from spreading the uncooperative foundation, and Makoto snorted.

“Yeah, I’m painfully aware of your gratitude, you’re a very horny drunk.”

It took all Kazuko had to not bash her head against the granite of the sink.  _ I’m too pretty to die, I am  _ too pretty _ to die, especially of self-inflicted blunt force trauma to the head _ .

“I’ve been told, yes.”

“Aren’t you gonna cover those hickeys?” Makoto asked, and Kazuko could just hear the smirk in the other’s voice while she patted on more foundation for more coverage. She passive-aggressively cleaned the sponge on her neck, softening the absurdly dark bite marks. “Yeah, you needed to have put on primer there, Akira’s quite the biter.” There was that self-satisfied tone in Makoto’s voice that made her want to punch the other in the tits.

“I’ll just button this shirt up later,” she said, the beginnings of an idea to salvage this look sprouting in her head as she aggressively attacked her eye bags with concealer.

“You seriously don’t remember having good enough sex with Akira that she left you looking like the victim of a vampire gangbang?” Kazuko felt like she was in an interrogation room, which was the last thing she wanted right now.

“Why, are you telling me if my sexual prowess was subpar, I wouldn’t have been mauled by the obvious werecat that is Akira?”

Makoto snorted before descending into maniacal giggles, straight into ugly cry-laughing, holding onto the sink so as not to fall over from lack of oxygen.

“If… If Akira is a werecat,” Makoto managed out, still giggling hard, “does that… make you a… furry?”

Kazuko took a deep breath and sighed before answering, patting on eyeshadow.

“Yes, haven’t you heard? Apparently I banged a cat yesterday. Thankfully it wasn’t Mona.” Kazuko deadpanned, and Makoto started laughing again, holding onto the sink edge and crouching down, hiding her face from Kazuko’s line of sight. “I hope we don’t get a noise complaint from all the yowling that probably ensued, though.”

Makoto controlled herself enough to answer.

“Yeah, no, Akira’s pretty quiet. If the noise complaint comes, it’ll be because of you.”

“Hey, Makoto,” Kazuko said, casually, “if I’m a furry, so by transient property, past me is also a furry. Which means,” she smiled, tapping off excess from her blush brush, “that you’re also a furry.”

Makoto didn’t stop laughing, but her laughter started edging the hysterical.

 

* * *

 

**Makoto**   
I got called a furry, I guess I shouldn’t have gone poking fun at Kazuko when she’s clearly still drunk.

**Kiki**   
wdym

**Makoto**   
She’s still drunk.   
She called you a werecat, i called her a furry, she said i’m a furry too, because i dated her. Simple.

**Dragon with the Girl Tattoo**   
doesnt explain y u were yellin earlier

**Makoto**   
Kazuko’s clothes weren’t matching perfectly, and she was wearing combat boots.   
In all the years I’ve known the bitch, she has never owned a single pair of combat boots, so I assumed they were Akira’s and I was right.   
HER NECK THOUGH, Akira, were you trying to eat the girl?

**Kiki**   
shes cute enough

**Makoto**   
NO.

**Kiki**   
YOU ASKED????   
anyway shouldnt u KNO wat hapnd   
i mean   
u been there

**stronkestpotions**   
yeah makoto, kiki has been lying to us this entire time she’s actually ex-scene queen kiki kannibal get w the program

**Kiki**   
Y U U  KI   
DON’T OUT ME LIKE THAT

**Girl with the Dragon Tattoo**   
On a less joking note, Makoto.   
I don’t believe that someone who dresses how a Pinterest board looks would ever put together a disastrous outfit.

**Makoto**   
I hate that you’re right.   
She fixed the look, anyway.   
Now she just looks like Akira Diet.

**Girl with the Dragon Tattoo**   
What a pro.

**Dragon with the Girl Tattoo**   
BABE   
IM SO PROUD   
LOOK @ U MEMEIN

**Kiki**   
ASDJFKDLSF   
YURIKO   
also what do you mean by diet me

**Makoto**   
She’s wearing a black dress shirt I’m pretty sure I’ve seen on her court outfit last week, these obnoxiously pink booty shorts with strawberry milk patches, your combat boots, blue pikachu thigh high socks and off-the-shoulder mint frilly cardigan, and a bag with so many Ace Attorney shit it’s a wonder she can lift it with her noodle arms.

**Kiki**   
AN ITA BAG   
ALSO NOODLE ARMS   
SOME1 SALTY   
but kazuko owns an ita bag. i love this timeline   
an ace attorney ita bag akdlfdgfhgj

 

* * *

 

As Kazuko closed the door behind her, she couldn’t help but let all the cringe out. She did somewhat salvage her look, but she ended up looking like Decora-kei Akira meets Elle Woods, with how the teacher clearly seemed to single her out for what seemed like a damn  _ questioning _ .

“I hate everything,” she said, kicking Akira’s boots off and throwing her Apollo Justice bag across the living space, where it hit the wall with a metallic clang made of both satisfaction and regret. Morgana wound himself around her legs in greeting, purring like a motorcycle. “Except you. I don’t hate you,” she cooed, picking the cat up and petting him. Mona headbutted her, rubbing his face on hers, his whiskers ticking her neck. “You’re a sweetheart, aren’t you? Baby boy.” She kissed the top of his head.

With the calming purring easing her mood, she sat down on the couch, and Mona circled her lap before settling down for a nap.

“I wanted to grab a snack, but I guess I’ll have to stay here, won’t I?”

She almost threw her back grabbing her bag from where it lodged itself by the wall, fishing her laptop from its shameful depths and putting it on the shelf behind the couch, booting it up, and then scavenging for her phone. She snapped a quick pic of Mona asleep on her, with her hand (she really needed to schedule a manicure) buried in his black fur, clearly petting him and posted on her instagram. “I love a man,” she wrote, after sticking so many heart stickers on the image.

 

* * *

 

**Kiki**   
she likes my cat

**Ann-chan**   
He’s your only redeemable quality ;*

**Kiki**   
she likes my cat and posted abt it on insta   
im gonna kiss her in the m _ OUTH _ when i get home wATCH ME

**Ann-chan**   
KIKI NO

 

* * *

 

Mona on her lap seemed like a good luck charm. She hasn’t seen real money twinks yet, and she’s been playing MapleStory instead of studying for a whole hour. She gained 3 new followers on Instagram, and there were no comments on the fact her nails were worn from retail work. Her banking app pinged as her father sent her twice as much money as usual again, which put her in a good mood quickly, too. Her mom messaged about paying her tuition on time, which was nice of her, and she quickly did so. Her alarm ringed, reminding her of scheduling her therapist, which she did on the spot, without procrastinating. She even managed to take her birth control on time, which was basically a miracle, considering she had to do some balancing feats to accommodate the sleeping cat on her lap.

She was a little scared this good day wouldn’t last until midnight.

Kazuko was almost resigned to having to pee on the couch and having to buy a new one when Akira got home. Not that she noticed the other entering the apartment, she was too busy petting Morgana and browsing through the fall/winter IKEA catalogue for decoration ideas for the upcoming pumpkin season.

“I can’t believe Mona’s been sleeping on your lap for like, four hours.” She heard Akira say from much closer than she expected.

“Oh, hello there. He’s so peaceful here, didn’t want to bother him. Plus,” she smiled up at Akira, “I think his motorcycle purring kinda got rid of my anxiety for a good two hours, so I felt he deserved it.” Akira was looking at her with a funny expression that bordered on creepy. She was looking at Kazuko as if… as if she was staring at a beautiful piece of art, and it made Kazuko uncomfortable. “Um. Are you okay?”

Akira suddenly lunged, cupping Kazuko’s face with both her hands and kissing her, which startled Kazuko into a yelp, which in turn the other took as an opportunity to deepen the kiss, and Kazuko, weak for the other as she was, melted into it as much as she dared, so as not to disturb the cat still sleeping peacefully on her lap.

“You’re so cute,” Akira said when they broke the kiss, smiling widely.

“I was thinking about getting a better couch,” Kazuko blurted out, still a little dazed.

“Oh, thank god. This one is too threadbare, it’s throwing off your whole aesthetic,” Akira said, as if that was her whole concern about getting a new couch. They were both acting like nothing happened, which Kazuko didn’t know if it was bad or good.

“I can’t decide, though, because I want you to have some input, too.” she handed over her phone to Akira, which was always a funny affair, because the other took all the care in the world. “What do you think, Delaktig or Vallentuna?”

Akira’s eyes went comically wide at something, and Kazuko supposed it was the price.

“Oh, uh. Don’t mean to be rude but I don’t think we can afford either of those?”

Kazuko waved at her, dismissively.

“Don’t worry about it. Just, are those two okay or do you want to choose another?”

“No, I’m gonna worry about it, you gotta-- where-- you’re not gonna use  _ rent money _ , are you?” Akira asked, panicking, kneeling on the couch and trying to level Kazuko with what she probably thought was a very withering, stern look. “We don’t need a new couch that badly!”

“Pfft, relax, it’s not. It’s…” Her cocky smile fell a little, and she sighed before continuing, “my dad’s idea of child support is… wild. He’s basically paying me and mom to stay away, I guess.”

“O-oh, I’m. Sorry about that,” Akira said, now visibly uncomfortable. “I just-- you just went ‘hey, here, choose from the two most expensive couches in the entirety of IKEA’, and I panicked, and simultaneously forgot about installment pay plans.”

“They’re the most expensive? I didn’t notice, I just thought they looked neat.”

Akira stared at her like she was going to kiss her again, then shook her head. Kazuko didn’t know if she was relieved or disappointed.

“You’re such a bougie bitch, did you know?”

“I’ve been told,” she replied with a winning smile, and this time Akira did kiss her, on the cheek, on her neck and then a peck on her lips. “But seriously,  _ what do you think _ .”

“I mean, I always thought you were more of a Vimle typa hoe,” Akira said, navigating to the series.

“My mom had a similar one, and it wasn’t any fun to have sex on it,” she said, simply.

“Oh,” the other grinned, leaning into her exactly like her cat would, “you’re thinking about the most practical couch to fuck in.”

“Well, yeah. Square-armed couches have hard beams where you could hurt yourself.” 

Kazuko really wanted to mean a general you, but she really really wanted to remember last night, and maybe have a repeat of that. Akira sure seemed to think that ‘you’ was referring to her, and beamed, putting her hand on Kazuko’s thigh, and caressing like it was an everyday thing. Kazuko’s heart jumped to her throat and she could feel her face reddening in a way no foundation could hide.

“I didn’t think you owned booty shorts, Kazu,” Akira said, suddenly.

“I--”

“You look really hot in them.”

She all but attacked Akira, only restraining herself from dislodging Mona, bite-kissing the other’s lips, and leaning into the other’s touch, kissing far more tenderly than her sudden movements suggested.

“Now, enough distractions, I wanna order it before my groove is gone.”

“Uuuggghhh, alright. Delaktig. Vallentuna is too expensive and doesn’t look as funky or flexible.” Akira relented, flopping back and wincing when her back hit the couch’s arm.

“Good choice. Though… I should message my father for this.” The words left her mouth and her good mood soured. “I… didn’t want to do it, but I kinda don’t want to spend my allowance on a couch when I can conceivably ask my father to do it…”

“Hey, is it too bad?” The girl looked up, stretching and reaching Kazuko’s free hand. She appreciated the moral support.

“No, my father is just… difficult. He’ll give me the money but he’ll whine about this so much. Ugh.”  _ Why didn’t he just outright said I’m his and made a whole PR stunt about it, he was good at it _ , Kazuko thought, bitterly.

“But like, if you buy back rests, two of those arms and a lamp, it shouldn’t go over 2 grand? I think I can help you pay off the installments, if it’s that.” Akira offered, getting up.

“Kiki. It’s fine. Let’s just. See the damage to my allowance and depending, I don’t even have to call my dad. Hopefully it stays under 10% of it, I have a boujee lifestyle, as you’d say, to maintain.”

In the end, Kazuko bought the couch with enough accessories and add-ons to warrant not only a call to her father, but a new TV stand, and also some cushions and a new cat house for the living room.

“It doubles as a side table!” She argued, almost shoving the phone in Akira’s face. “Mona is a good baby boy, he deserves it!”

“Kazu, he has a cat condo and a whole shelf dedicated to him!” Akira shot back, trying to deselect it. “Also, he’s a nasty baby! He threw up a hairball on my bed yesterday morning!”

“Nooo, don’t shove me, you’ll--” she was interrupted by Morgana waking up and running away from her lap. Kazuko sighed, and pushed Akira back by putting a finger on her nose. “Now look what you’ve done, you woke him up! He was so cute, sleeping on my lap!”

“He’s a shameful criminal, Kazu! He steals from the neighbors if you let him out! He’s been stealing things from the laundry bin for a week now!”

“He’s nesting with the smell of people he likes, let him!”

“ _ He’s stealing underwear, Kazu! _ ”

“He-- ok no, he’s being a bad child, but maybe he misses us when we’re out?”

Akira stopped again, and it was getting old her being stunned, except she looked so beautiful when the little things Kazuko said startled her into that… stupid smiling, dazed look that looked like lovesickness (it couldn’t be, could it?), Kazuko just couldn’t help but stare back, with probably a really dumb look on her face, too.

“Thank you for buying a new couch, by the way. Cuddling in this old shit is hard.”

Kazuko shoved Akira off the couch, trying to scowl but failing miserably.

 

* * *

 

**Kiki**   
hello ladies, i think im in lurv

**Ann-chan**   
U think ur in luv every time

**Kiki**   
this is different ann   
kazu bought an expensive ass mix and match couch set bc i complained abt the old one   
and mentioned havin sex on it as reason

**Ann-chan**   
BITCH WHAT   
Also kazu this kazuko that, is this akechi kazuko perchance

**Kiki**   
!!! yes why u got dirt?

**Ann-chan**   
BITCH   
DARK BLOND HAIR, RED EYES, TALL AF, A COMPLETE ASS BITCH?

**Kiki**   
!!!!!!!!!!!!!! her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Ann-chan**   
Oh MY GOD i can’t believe, i never told yall???????? I thought i did all the way back in freshman year?   
She used to be a lolita model, i had a shoot with her once. She’s so good but GOD WHAT A BITCH   
She’s such a role model tbh i aspire to be as bitchy as she is

**Kiki**   
i can tell her that   
also swing by i need company waiting on our new fancy ass lego ikea couch tomorrow

**Ann-chan**   
Omg i can’t!!!!   
Ur living with like, a modeling icon   
How do i just swing by ur apartment i don’t have good enough clothes

**Kiki**   
ANN. I LIVE HERE. im p sure im gonna be in slacks + ratty sports bra.   
PLUS i banged her, her standards for others are. nonexistent for a model.

**Ann-chan**   
The fact u banged her isn’t even that impressive, what shocks me is that she let u

 

* * *

 

Having a job, Kazuko decided, was getting in the way of sleeping in with… her roommate. They had the one free day together on Sunday, and that was it. Their other free days didn’t coincide at all, and were either full with college or used as rest days. Akira also had a free day on Thursday, and she on Wednesday, which just sucked ass, in her opinion. On the bright side, the weekend was approaching fast, and with it, Saturday night and Sunday all day. Though if she didn’t have a job, she would probably go stir crazy, or actually stoop low enough to use her old modeling fame to build a MapleStory streaming platform.

Learning how to become a streamer sounded good at the second hour working the register. They were closing into Halloween and nothing screamed more ‘happy holidays’ than old ladies with expired coupons trying to tell her manager that she’s being purposefully obtuse because she doesn’t speak english well (she has the  _ barest _ of accents, thank you very much).

She was so dazed that she completely bypassed the living room’s new arrangement, and their guest, pausing only to remove her shoes and went straight into her bedroom, flopping face first into her mattress. Mona hopped up ten seconds later, and sat down on her back, purring up a storm. She was never going to let Akira call him a trash naughty baby ever again.

“Kazu, are you alright?”

“No,” she said, turning her head to the side. “Halloween sales started early this year.”

“Ouch. Anyway, our new furniture is here, wanna check it out? It’s pretty comfy, Ann and I were making a pillowfort with it.”

Kazuko almost bolted to sit up, but Mona was still lodged on her back, loud purring soothing her pain.

“Takamaki? Tell her hi. How’s her modeling coming along anyway?”

“Ann’s good, she’s still doing lolita shoots a lot, but she’s gotten some western fashion shows too.” At the mention of lolita shoots, Kazuko shot up, jostling Morgana and turning around to look at Akira so fast she was seeing stars. “Oh look, all I had to do was mention your past, nice.”

“Ugh,” she groaned and laid face first on her bed again.

“Aw, c’mon it’s not that bad, your pics looked cool. You look surprisingly right in your element decked in OTT hime lolita.”

“Excuse you, I am offended by the implication I could possibly not look good in anything I put on.” She complained from the confines of her duvet.

“The way I think you look best in isn’t appropriate to having guests. C’mon, we’re ordering chinese.”

The bribe of food was always a good way to get her out of bed. It didn’t ready her to seeing another girl sprawled on her new couch, cuddling Akira. Logically, she knew Takamaki had a girlfriend, but the knowledge they had definitely had sex before sat like a ball of lead in Kazuko’s stomach.

“I can order for us, if you’d like,” she offered, looking at their atrocious pillow fort and feeling her insides twist. It was lopsided and an eyesore, and Akira’s shitty fairy lights placement didn’t make it any better, but she refrained from commenting.

“I already called the takeout place, I ordered the same you did when I moved in, was that okay?” Akira asked, shuffling Takamaki so there was room on the couch for Kazuko to sit beside her. It was her favorite spot too, by the window, and the way the pillows and side table were arranged to cater to her habits… Had Akira been paying that much attention to her?

“Yeah… Uh. the disposition looks weird.” She was feeling like a stranger in her own home, with the new white and black textured wood TV rack with cabinets for the backrests and pillows and throw blankets, and Mona’s shiny new cat house, where he was sitting on top of scratching away at the scratching panel. “The TV rack was supposed to be textured like this?”

Akira looked at her funny.

“I thought you knew. Is it throwing your pinterest vibe off?”

“No. It looks… It matches with the bookshelf’s natural texture, actually. Mona’s house will need some painting, though.”

“We can do this on Sunday, if you’d like?” Akira asked, and Takamaki finally could not restrain her laughter anymore, snorting uglily between hiccups and turning an unflattering shade of red.

“You two sound,” --snort-- “like a married couple!!”

Kazuko’s heart stopped, then started beating again on overdrive, then all the blood in her body went to her face.

“What do you mean, Ann? It’s normal shit!” Akira said but she was too blushing madly, and that was truly the most endearing shit Kazuko has seen in a while.

“Kiki, you’re going to paint furniture so it matches the rest. That’s pretty married.”

Kazuko decided to sit on her designated space so she could look outside and hide her face as she retorted to Takamaki.

“My mom is gonna marry this guy next year and they don’t paint furniture together.”

“Isn’t your mom marrying the richest dude she could find that didn’t care for children?” Takamaki asked, leaning over Akira.

“Hey, I’m not a pillow!”

“True. My point though, is that regular friends can do shit for each other without it meaning they’re involved romantically, right?” She was keenly aware that she sounded like she was bullshitting it, and wondered where her lying skills went in the time she’s been living with Akira. She used to be a much, much better actress, and then all this happened.

“I  _ guess _ ,” Takamaki conceded. “Still,” she continued, and Kazuko felt Akira turning and her entire body shaking, and she could see on the reflection on the window that she was asking Takamaki to cut it out, “it’s very fishy, considering Akira doesn’t really like to do crafts.”

Kazuko was left with the impending feeling of something that should’ve been communicated there, but was ultimately lost on translation for her.

 

* * *

 

**Ann-chan**   
Two news:   
1) kazuko is an ex-lolita model look her tf up under Hoshi Aketsuki i even had a shot with her she’s really good and i felt blessed   
2) she basically married kiki and now i’m questioning my judgement of her character all those years ago

**Makoto**   
Ann, you are a blessing and a curse.   
I didn’t ask to be cursed with knowing you can actually stand Kazuko

**stronkestpotions**   
holy shit i cant believe i banged a model what the  _ hell _   
is it too late to text her like   
“i know you basically told me to forget u existed but is it too late to ask u to step on me wearing ott hime lolita”

**Ann-chan**   
OK NOW I AM SERIOUSLY QUESTIONING AKECHI-SENPAI’S TASTE   
Good on u yuuki but.   
ARE U KIDDING ME   
I existed in her general vicinity for  _ years _ before i met shiho what the hellllllll

**stronkestpotions**   
wow i kno i joke abt it a lot but rly ann? I am cute and my legs are gr8, u all just jelly of my thigh muscles.

**Ann-chan**   
……..valid.

**stronkestpotions**   
kazuko is a disaster of a person tho   
from what i heard from kiki   
after she stormed out of my apartment   
she went straight to a bar   
got rly drunk and threatened to exorcise kiki with some fingers in her ass   
started a fight drunk the next day   
got home all bloody and cried about no one wanting to bang her anymore    
with her hands in kiki’s shirt mind u   
then got drunk on vodquila and banged kiki   
in this exact order

**Ann-chan**   
F   
Pay respects to my pre-teen idol   
She’s not dead but my respect for her is   
Also she’s so tiny i don’t believe she would start a barfight??

**Dragon with the Girl Tattoo**   
i kicked her out + called her a Lyft   
can confirm, bitch has 1 hell of a left hook

**Ann-chan**   
Ryuko wat

**Dragon with the Girl Tattoo**   
tiny but mighty   
i have a bruise still

**Girl with the Dragon Tattoo**   
It is quite ugly, seeing as it’s on her jaw.   
Gives her a gruff appearance, it’s an eyesore.

**Dragon with the Girl Tattoo**   
yuri almost stormed off to kikis when she saw it it was rly scary   
and kinda hot

**Ann-chan**   
I’m never taking jobs out of the country again   
I leave for like two months and suddenly kiki married, mona has a new favorite who bought him a new house  _ on a whim along with a whole new designer couch _ , and yuuki can brag she banged a model.   
What has this world come to wtf

**Makoto**   
Ann, are you drunk?

**Ann-chan**   
Yes   
No   
We barely drank a third of the bottle between the three of us, if that means something, and i can still type.

**Piranha Plant Main**   
Oh well. Kiki and Kazu-chan are learning moderation, I see.

**Ann-chan**   
HARUUUUUUUUUUUUU I LOV UUUUUUU   
And i wish it applied to Akechi-senpai’s volume.

**Makoto**   
Wait, they’re having sex with you still there?

**Ann-chan**   
To be fair, they made me a cozy ass nest in their new, fancy couch with some blankets, the controllers for the TV and Kiki’s consoles, and the aircon remote before saying they’d go to sleep   
They must’ve gotten up an hour ago and sneaked off to each others’ rooms and started banging when they thought i was asleep

**Piranha Plant Main**   
Aww, that’s so cute!

**Makoto**   
Haru, I love you, but what the fuck.

 

* * *

 

Kazuko woke up to her alarm feeling a bit sore, but otherwise rested, comfortable and warm. It took a little while for her brain to start, and she turned, snuggling further into the comfortable, nice-smelling, smooth-feeling source of heat in front of her. She nearly headbutted Akira when her brain finally connected the dots of her alarm ringing because she has work and that she was snuggling into her roommate after a night of fantastic sex which she was more or less sober for, too.

“Kazu, whassit?” Akira mumbled, still sleepy. “Com’back, ‘s still early…”

“I have to get ready for work, Akira, not everyone rolls out of bed looking perfect,” she retorted, and sat kneeling towards the custom vanity. She had it built like this exactly for days like this, when she didn’t want to get out of bed.

“Mmm, dunno ‘bout that,” Akira said, putting her arms around Kazuko’s waist and hoisting herself to lay down on her naked lap. She nuzzled into her legs, and Kazuko involuntarily shifted so her legs spread a little. “You look pretty perfect from here.”

“Sweet-talker. As much as it’s tempting, I can’t walk into work looking like I’ve been in a vampire gangbang, as Makoto put it.”

“I resent the implication I would let another vampire suck on your beautiful neck,” Akira said, dramatically, kissing up Kazuko’s thigh.

“Stoooop, I need to get ready for work, and so do you.”

“Ugh. We do, don’t we. Stupid capitalism.” She said, but made no movement to stop teasing Kazuko, lowering a hand to knead at her butt.

“I swear, it’s like I’ve slept with Mona,” Kazuko whispered, but made no movement to stop. In fact, she found herself melting into the touch.

“Hmmm, I’m sure I’ll feel more awake and ready to go to work if you serve me breakfast in bed, if you  _ catch my drift _ ,” Akira said against the inside of Kazuko’s thigh, making the other shiver.

“Oh my god, are you taking your pick-up lines from straight dudes?”

“No, it’s from two gay men and I’m not sure what Uncle Katsu is?” Akira paused. “Cat-sexual? Um. Thinking about this is more uncomfortable than I thought it would be.”

Kazuko just laughed.

 

* * *

 

**Kiki**   
wtf ANN   
gonna be honest w u i forgot u were there

**Ann-chan**   
KINDA FIGURED   
Also ur girl forgot too   
She went out the room naked to bathe   
U don’t deserve Akechi-senpai

**Kiki**   
im a were(cat)   
geddit

 

* * *

 

Nothing eventful happened until Halloween. Nothing really happens in college until Halloween, anyway. Classes start midway through August and your only breather is after midterms, and that always coincide with Halloween anyway (and even if it didn’t, some students would argue you need a break every once in a while). Akira suddenly remembered one did not go through law school through sheer force of personality, or so it seemed to Kazuko, because she found herself fighting Akira for the table more often.

(“You have a desk! In your room!” Akira argued, and Kazuko lied through her teeth because she didn’t want to say she wanted to spend time with Akira even if they were bound to ignore each other.)

So Halloween found them very tired, very burned-out messes, starting out their days some two hours before their alarms out of… they didn’t know what, exactly made them wake up two hours before their alarms, but as they kissed and rutted against each other like the horny teenagers they weren’t  _ that _ far removed from, they couldn’t really complain. Akira’s bed’s smell was enticing, Akira’s own smell was even more, and she never thought she’d ever say it, but Kazuko was actually enjoying the small, vibrating plastic bullet Akira put on her leg for her to rut into.

“Hey, space cowgirl, do you copy?” Akira joked, because Kazuko was probably spacing out, attached to the other like a particularly clingy octopus, still rutting a little in the jerky, strained motions of someone who had way too many orgasms, or just a particularly strong one.

“Mmm-hmm.” She nuzzled into Akira’s neck, nibbling at the other’s skin weakly, vaguely aware she was being petted. “Don’t wanna copy, but yeah…”

“Aw, why not, you tired of the sound of my voice?” Akira’s voice had a bit of humor in it, albeit the sleepy, sluggish one of someone who came just as hard.

“No… Love your voice... just don’t wanna be coherent right now... “

Akira paused a little, but Kazuko didn’t notice, thoughts too fuzzy.

“Maybe it’s time to, you know, turn off the bullet.”

“Noooo-- Oh, ouch. Okay,” she agreed after a particularly bad body twitch that actually gave her a cramp on her leg. She cringed a little when Akira’s fingers carefully moved up her leg, feeling far too sensitive, but thankfully not pained yet.

“Are you feeling better? Or is Jupiter treating you well?”

Kazuko opened her eyes a little and tried to focus on the girl in front of her, failing miserably every time she blinked.

“Mmm, yes. I’m… I’m gonna go back to sleep. We still have some time, right?” She asked, closing her eyes.

Akira’s arms moved under her head, and she felt the other nodding her agreement.

“We still have one hour before your alarm.”

“Hmmhf. ‘Kay. I’mma nap. Love you, Kiki.”

It didn’t register to Kazuko she said anything weird until the middle of her shift, in a public space she couldn’t emote anything besides the joy of helping a customer out, and she went straight to the very unused Personal Hygiene aisle and pretended to be restocking the shelves for a good half-hour as she freaked out.

Because Kazuko and Akira spoke mostly japanese when alone (and especially when sleepy), and what she said that morning while half asleep wasn’t “daisuki”.

 

* * *

 

**Kiki**   
CAN I CALL EMERGENCY

**Makoto**   
Hm.   
What happened?

**Kiki**   
KAZUKO SAID THE A WORD TO ME   
LIKE HARD LOVE   
SHE TOLD ME SHE HARD LOVES ME AT 7AM

**Ann-chan**   
*QUESTIONS HER SANITY HARDER*

**Makoto**   
I don’t get it?   
Explain to the second gen immigrant who doesn’t speak japanese, please.

**Kiki**   
OK IN THE LANGUAGE U REFUSE TO LEARN   
THERE’S SOFT LOVE AND HARD LOVE

**Ann-chan**   
(dai) suki (da) (yo) and ai (shiteru/shitemasu), respectively

**Kiki**   
AND LIKE. YOU DON’T EXPECT TO HEAR THE A WORD FROM SOMEONE WHO IS NOT SOMEONE YOU’VE LIVED IN A ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED RELATIONSHIP FOR 90 YEARS AND MAYBE NOT EVEN THEN   
YOU DONT SAY U HARD LOVE SOMEONE UR NOT EVEN IN A PROPER RELATIONSHIP IN JAPANESE MY MAIN GOOD COP

**Ann-chan**   
Wtf did she even say, i’m curious now.

**Kiki**   
“愛してますだよ ききちゃん”

**Ann-chan**   
AHSJDKFLGLH   
WOW   
SLEEPY AKECHI-SENPAI DOES NOT FUCK AROUND DOES SHE   
THATS AS HARD LOVE AS IT GETS

**Makoto**   
I don't follow.

**Piranha Plant Main**   
They're saying, using the love kanji is a big deal.   
Also this is starting to sound like a dorama. Please keep me updated, Kiki <3

**Kiki**   
im glad my love life tribulations are amusing 2 u haru

**Ann-chan**   
Now tho. I would expect u to be freaking out harder, kiki   
What is the catch?   
What aren't u telling us

**Kiki**   
… i dont… mind it as much as i thought i would.

**Ann-chan**   
Aaaahh can you taste it? The smell of blood bc every feeling you get outta kiki is like pulling teeth. :)

 

* * *

 

Kazuko got home determined to not mention the A word incident yet again, for the second week in a row. If Akira didn’t bring it up she wouldn’t. It was better for everyone involved if the incident was never talked about again. They went about their lives like it never happened. Or Akira did, because Kazuko straight up locked herself in her room whenever going out of it wasn’t absolutely necessary and started to put in the special order how to get to her apartment from the fire escape.

It was rather pathetic, actually, how much one slip of the tongue, one moment of feeling too much, made her shrink into herself and berate her own mind so much she forgot how human beings worked.

She was well aware that this wasn’t solving any problems, and potentially causing more and exacerbating pre-existing ones, as her therapist was currently reminding her.

“She doesn’t know what she did wrong,” Dr. Mifune said, with a beatific smile that dripped judgement. “She’s probably just as consternated as you are, since you told me she’s also first-gen immigrant japanese.”

“She didn’t do anything wrong, though,” Kazuko muttered, annoyed and well-aware her therapist was right.

“She doesn’t know that, though. Kazuko, you need to stop living in your head so much. Talking to someone about your feelings, someone who isn’t a paid professional,” she added, when Kazuko opened her mouth to protest, “isn’t abusing your relationship with that person, you know. It’s healthy. It’s good. It makes the relationship stronger.”

“But still. It was just so bad, I can’t believe I told her the japanese equivalent of ‘I’m a creepy stalker who wants to bang you and start a cat farm with you by all means possible’, it’s like. I feel bad about it, and like I put a weight on her that she shouldn’t carry, like I put my feelings out there and said they’re her responsibility.” Her mouth just moved on her own, the tears flowing like they wanted to smudge her non-existent makeup.

Dr. Mifune’s smile twitched, the saintly woman probably at her wit’s end with Kazuko, which was probably fair.

“Look, dear,” she said, and Kazuko heard Kill Bill sirens in her head, “I can only do so much here. I can prescribe you medication, I can teach you coping mechanisms, I can listen to you talk and give you input until we get to the root of your problem, but this only goes so far. I cannot solve your problems with your roommate.” The woman took a deep breath, pulling out a tarot deck from her pocket and shuffling it, an anxiety tick her therapist had. “You need to unlock your bedroom, grab your roommate’s cat and pet it into oblivion as you sit down with her and talk.”

“But what if she doesn’t want to talk? What if she’s moved on already? She’s too pretty to stay single forever,” Kazuko argued.

“How about we cross that bridge when we come to it?” Her therapist asked, not unkindly. “You’ve been pining over her too long, you’ll either get a happy ending or some closure at least. Remember what we’ve talked about in your high school?”

“I can’t do worse than no,” she recited, fidgeting with her phone.

“Just ask to talk to her and then ask her how she felt about that.” Dr Mifune sighed, noticing she had made a small tarot spread in her fidgeting. Kazuko noticed she herself had started a small essay on the efficacy of different Luminol formulas. “Are you okay with the dosage, anyway? Is this your first bad episode since starting it?”

“Yes.”

“Good. No side-effects, it’s not interfering with your around-the-year birth control?”

“I haven’t bled to death, so I’m cool, I think. No nausea like last time either.”

“That’s good to hear, dearie.” Her therapist sighed, and started turning the cards, looking at them pensively for a few seconds before smiling at her again. “Well, I’ll give you a renewed prescription to pick up, and I hope your conversation turns out well. I’m rooting for you, okay?”

Kazuko saw the Lovers arcana in the spread, clearly upright for Dr. Mifune, and felt a little cheerier.

Before she left, her therapist called her back in.

“Oh, and please, doll, do it  _ sober _ , will you?”

 

* * *

 

**stronkestpotions**   
_@Kiki_ u ok havent heard from u in a while

**Kiki**   
im good

**stronkestpotions**   
u dont sound good

**Kiki**   
fine im not good im depressed still

**Ann-chan**   
Wow that surprisingly took no prodding at all.   
Do you need company? A friendly shoulder? A pity fuck?

**Kiki**   
ha fucking ha   
no   
i need   
idk what i need   
i already got drunk yesterday   
not gonna do drugs im not that desperate for validation in my existence   
yet.

**Makoto**   
No drugs.

**Kiki**   
thank u mom

**Dragon with the Girl Tattoo**   
Makoto dont u kno this akechi girl well?

**Makoto**   
Yes. I also hate her.

**Dragon with the girl tattoo**   
ur making 1 of ur besties v sad tho

**Makoto**   
Ryuko, I don’t know what you want me to say. Kazuko has always been a pit of anxiety, I’m not exactly surprised this happened.   
I’m surprised it took this long, though.

**Kiki**   
not helping mako

**Makoto**   
I didn’t know how to deal with her anxiety then, I don’t know how to deal with it now, Akira. Especially not from all the way across town, on my phone, via proxy.   
I’m sorry I can’t help you more.

**stronkestpotions** ****  
is this   
is this my time to shine   
?

 

* * *

 

Kazuko sighed as she turned the key in the lock of her door, and felt the lock slide through minute vibrations that the mechanism made onto the key’s blade.

She hasn’t gotten around to playing Kingdom Hearts, now that she had access to a PS4.

It felt like an eternity, unlocking the mystical passageway to her and Akira’s shared inner sanctum, and why couldn’t her mind stop making it pass even slower by making up convoluted ways of describing her actions instead of registering her actions for what they were; this time-slowing was giving her enough time to reconsider everything she was doing, tempting her to continue with the pattern she built on the last week, and it felt much like overthinking everything--

“Kazu?”

She looked up from where the door was now actually open, Akira in her sweats and a crop top. So time had not actually slowed down, she just stood there, pale, sweaty and working herself into an anxiety attack over a conversation about their feelings. Which admittedly wasn’t Kazuko’s favorite discussion topic, she paid a therapist to help her untangle her own mixed up, twisted feelings for a reason, after all, but it was necessary. Thankfully, Mona came to greet her, pawing up her leg to be picked up and purring, so she obliged, pressing the gentle vibrations of the cat against her chest, soothing her nerves a bit.

“Hey, uh,” she started, and they both finished, in unison, “I think we need to talk.”

They stared at each other in surprise, and then Mona meowed, bringing them back to the fact Kazuko was still standing in the corridor, the door open. Akira made a strangled noise and moved back, allowing Kazuko to move in, placing her shoes in the cabinet and making her way, unsteady, to the couch. On the couch, with a bucket of cheese puffs, was Yuuki, chugging a beer can.

“Oh. Uh, don’t mind me, we were just talking and destroying Kiki on Mario Party,” she said, reclining on a couch square’s backrest. “I can leave.”

“Please, I’d rather not have witnesses to what I’m about to do,” Kazuko said.

Akira looked rather alarmed, eyes wide and flitting from her to Yuuki.

“And what is it you plan to do?”

“Talk about my  _ feelings _ .” She made a face, as if she was going to throw up, and felt like it, too. “I’d rather no one else knows I have them.”

Yuuki looked at them with a mix of pity and exasperation in her face, but relented and grabbed her cardigan, acting a little suspicious on her way to the door, and grabbing her shoes.

“So, I’ll see ya--”

“Hold up, is that my shirt?” Akira asked, suspicious, and Yuuki closed her cardigan faster, waving a hasty goodbye as she ducked under Kazuko’s bag with surprising flexibility and speed, sliding with one socked foot under and one leg forward, clutching her sneakers and using the coiled leg to use the slide’s momentum to sprint forward, right down the stairs. “Oh, no you don’t--” Akira started, and Kazuko actually got out of her way.

It took her a few seconds to notice Yuuki’s shirt on the table, slightly damp from apparently getting caught in a rainshower earlier. Kazuko sighed, dropped her bag, grabbed the shirt and calmly walked towards the elevator that was still in their floor.

As it pinged to the ground floor, the doors opened to the sight of Yuuki and Akira bolting out the stairs, pulling hair like preschoolers.

“Yuuki, you forgot your shirt,” Kazuko said and was all the warning both of them had before Kazuko threw the garment at both of them, who froze with each other’s hypothetical pigtails in hand. “Now stop making a scene the both of you. Akira, you’re acting like that’s the first shirt any of your friends stole from you. Yuuki… Don’t steal shirts from Akira.” 

She was never thankful there was no one else in the ground floor to see this, otherwise she would’ve just let them fight it out, get tired and then she’d pretend they didn’t exist. Probably call the police for disturbance of peace.

Akira was just behind her, following her to the elevator, she could feel it in her skin; there was a prickling in the back of her neck, like someone was staring into her too hard. And sure enough, as she turned to input her floor number, Akira raced after her, embarrassed and with a blooming bruise on her collarbone.

“I hope it was worth it, fighting with Yuuki,” she said, not even looking as Akira barely made it to the elevator as the doors closed.

“Totally.” Akira had a big dumb smile on her face, and Kazuko’s resolve to talk before anything almost broke.

“So I went to my therapist today--”

“I was talking to Yuuki earlier--”

They spoke at the same time, and then looked at each other, blushing something fierce, and apparently both deciding it was for the best to walk in silence until they were in the safety of their own four walls.

“So--” they said again at the same time when the door was closed.

“You first,” Kazuko offered, not in the least eager to talk about her godforsaken  _ feelings _ . Once in a fit of teenage rebelliousness, she told her therapist she’d rather feel nothing than have any feelings, to which her therapist replied that she was already depressed, and not feeling things was what was making her miserable. Since then she made an effort, but  _ god damn it _ if she was going to be the first to speak.

“I’m. Okay,” Akira said, taking a deep breath. “I think I love you, too--” 

“It’s okay if you want to never see me again-- WHAT?” They started speaking at the same time, but when what Akira said processed she just stood there, looking at the other girl with her mouth hanging open.

“I said, I think I love you, too,” she repeated, and if Kazuko had hopes of it sinking in better the second time, she was dead wrong. It just felt more and more surreal. “But like, you’ve been practically in hiding these past two weeks, and I was thinking, maybe you didn’t think you were saying it to me, then, and that’s why you’re running away, and like. I really like you, and I’ve been halfway in love with you for the past three months, I think? And I hate hate hate calling things by name, I really do, but maybe, I was thinking-- if you even like me, if you wouldn’t mind being my girlfriend?”

Akira was panting when she finally stopped talking, blushing madly, and Kazuko’s brain was going a thousand miles an hour, thinking and rethinking every way she thought this talk would go, and in none of them, she thought it might end up like this. She didn’t know what to do, what was probably the proper reaction to having her roommate confess her feelings to her, so she let her body take over for once in her life, and propelled herself into Akira, grabbing the other girl’s hair and pulling her into a kiss, like her life depended on it.

“Wait, wait,” Akira pushed her away, “what did you want to say?”

Kazuko knew she did the shifty eyes thing, because Akira just huffed and pushed her farther apart, ignoring the whine that Kazuko may or may not have made.

“It’s… It’s irrelevant now, isn’t it? I like you, you like me, there’s not much to talk now.”

Akira raised one eyebrow at her.

“Somehow, I doubt.”

“No, I swear!” Kazuko stepped back, and fell onto the couch gracelessly. “I was hiding because I told you that, and I was freaking out, because like.” She shook her head, trying to organize her thoughts. “I thought I fucked up, and just… I jumped to conclusions, I guess, and thought I had like, burdened you with my feelings or something like that.”

Akira bent over to smush her face, before kneeling down in front of her, her face twisted in a fond grimace.

“If anything, you burdened me with a complete idiot right now.”

“Bitch. I shouldn’t have said anything,” Kazuko huffed, trying to play at nonchalance, but leaning into Akira until their foreheads touched. “Let you suffer a little while more, if I knew you were going to be this insufferable.”

Akira rolled her eyes, but kissed her softly, until they heard a scratching on the door.

“Uh… did we leave the door open when we went downstairs?” Akira asked, looking around.

“Shit.” Kazuko offered, eloquently, and they both extricated themselves from each other’s arms to greet Morgana, who was looking less than impressed with their forgetfulness and general callousness with cat care.

 

* * *

 

**Kiki**   
GUESS WAT BBITCHESSSSSSSS

**Girl with the Dragon Tattoo**   
Someone’s lively.

**Kiki**   
hell ye i am!!!!!!!!   
i have acquired   
A GEE-EFF

**Dragon with Girl Tattoo**   
pls tell me its not some of ur stupid schemes with yuuki pls and thank

**Kiki**   
I’M OFFEND?????   
it’s not it’s legit i have a gf now pls say hello to my future wife   
[img0765.jpg]

**Ann-chan**   
??????? that’s an old photoshoot of Kazuko’s isn’t it   
WAIT NO   
WAIT   
WHAT   
TELL HER TO CHANGE HER GODDAMN THERAPIST   
OR TO BUY SOME BETTER STANDARDS GODDAMN

**Kiki**   
ANN IM OFFEND   
and that is *not* an old photoshoot, that’s Kazuko’s bedroom, those are actually her own lolita, we’re going to a convention together rn actually   
and we’ve been dating on the dl for like a month.

**Makoto**   
You………. Kept a secret…………. For more than a few hours????????

**Kiki**   
the bribe was very good, u gotta give her that makoto   
shes not ur level yet but she  _ did _ learn from the best.

**Makoto**   
Disgusting.

**stronkestpotions**   
i cannot believe kiki is  _ Dating _   
did u tell ur parents   
or do i tell mine, and then u get angry phonecalls within the hour?

**Kiki**   
NO   
ILL TELL   
NO TELL UNCLE KICHI   
NO TELL AUNTIE MIYA   
PLS I LIKE BEING ALIVE

 

* * *

 

**Kiki**   
dads   
i have something to tell you

**Jun**   
Oooh, is this related to Miyabi texting me to call her?

**Kiki**   
i’m going to kill Yuuki

**Jun**   
Please don’t, she’s my inside woman in the planned specials Eikichi makes, I would hate having him figure out how I found out about them.

**Kiki**   
i’m going to kill her a little, then   
anyway, dads. i have a girlfriend.

**Tatsuya**   
Congratulations, Kiki. Tell Kazuko we have the baby albums ready.

**Kiki**   
thanks tacchi   
WAIT NO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u so much for finishing this fanfic with me!  
> i know it took.... almost a year..... and damn i took my sweet time untangling the crossed wires of code switching  
> but here we are, the bottom of the last chapter!  
> i'm glad we made it this far and see ya!!!
> 
> pls comment and kick my butt for the delay! love yall!

**Author's Note:**

> thank u for coming to the party, this is 23 pages of pure awkward jakdhksdgh i promise the next chapters will up the ante a little.
> 
> i wrote this at ungodly hours or running on very little sleep, so, if even after reviewing it _hard_ there's still some mistakes or passages that are not clear, don't be afraid to send me a lenghty message :)
> 
> se yall (hopefully) next week with more tomfoolery
> 
> flower meanings:  
> cherry: respect  
> mistletoe: "single and looking"  
> green carnations: gay feelings  
> gardenia: pining
> 
> (you can also badger me at twitter and tumblr, i'm @kotturstjarna in both sites)


End file.
